


Home and Away

by agentofvalue



Category: Farscape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-09
Updated: 2014-05-06
Packaged: 2018-01-11 16:33:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 25,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1175302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agentofvalue/pseuds/agentofvalue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ten years after the Peacekeeper Wars, Olivia Critchon opens the door to find her brother on her front step.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Not my toys, I’ll put them back when I’m done. No infringement intended.

Olivia Crichton pushed her wet hair over her shoulder before pouring her morning coffee. It was too early. The same thought passed through her mind every morning. She had to drag herself out of bed to get in the shower before her son woke up. She plopped Jay in front of the TV with some cartoons and a Pop Tart so she could finish getting ready and slowly wake up. She was grateful that at eight years old her son got himself ready with only a little prompting. 

Her brother had always teased her about it. She had always been the last one of the house on the way to school. She had needed to be driven almost half the time because she would miss the bus. He used to call up the stairs when the bus appeared and every once and while he would do it when the bus wasn’t coming. She would come flying down the stairs with a toothbrush still in her mouth to find him particularly rolling on the floor with laughter. 

She smiled sadly to herself the way she did every time she thought of her big brother. John was out there someone, hopefully, safe and happy. 

She took a deep gulp of her coffee. Okay, time to get motivated. 

“Sweetie, I’m going to get dressed,” she said to Jay.

“Okay,” he answered without looking at her. He sat on the floor in front of the television at the other end of the open kitchen and living room. He was still in pajamas too. His hair still stuck up in the back. 

“I want you to get dressed during the next commercial. Okay?” 

“Okay.” 

“Jay!” 

His head jerked towards her. “Yes, Mom.” 

“Thank you,” Olivia said. 

She picked up her coffee mug and carried it with her. She walked slowly in between Jay and the TV as she moved towards the stairs. 

“Mooom,” he complained. 

She laughed to herself as she pulled her clothes out of her closet. She had just finished blow-drying her hair when she saw Jay reflected in the mirror behind her. 

“Someone’s at the door,” he said when she turns off the dryer. 

“Well, answer it.” 

“I have to get dressed,” he said and dashed away. He didn’t want to talk to whoever it was either. 

He was too smart. She wouldn’t be able to stay ahead of him for much longer. She sighed and went to get the door. 

Her guess was Oscar, their neighbor, who, unfortunately, was just like his Sesame Street counterpart. He lived on the other side of the courtyard in the little townhouse complex. He probably wanted to complain about Jay leaving his bike out or something. She didn’t need this so earlier in the morning. They were getting dangerously close to being late. 

She yanked open the door, but it wasn’t Oscar standing on the welcome mat. 

Olivia started to scream. The man, who couldn’t be in front of her but was, acted quickly. He clamped a hand over her mouth and pushed her backward back into the house. The door slammed. 

Jay came running back into the living room and started pulling on the man, who was a stranger to him. “Get off my mom!” he shouted. 

“It’s okay, little man,” John said as he released Olivia. “Livy, I’m so sorry about that. I can’t have a scene.” 

Olivia took a step backward. It wasn’t possible. He looked mostly the same. It has been ten years since she’d last seen him. His hair had more salt and pepper in it. There were lines in his face that hadn’t been there last time. He wore the same kind of leather clothes and long leather coat.

She took him in for a few seconds and then threw her arms around her brother’s neck. 

“Oh my God, Johnny. What? How?” she said with her face buried in his shoulder. 

“I’m sorry, Livy. I don’t really have time. I’m putting everyone in danger by being here. I needed to know they were safe. I have things to take care of, and they can’t come with me,” he quickly said. 

She reluctantly let go of him. 

She still couldn’t believe it. “How?” she asked again. “I never thought I’d see you again.” 

He kissed her on the forehead. “I never expected to come back. I never wanted to put in this position.” 

“I don’t understand.” 

“It’s a long story. People are after me. I’ve held them off with the wormhole, but it’s a stopgap. They’ll be waiting on the other side.”

She was struggling to understand what he was saying. The fact that he was standing in front of her was hard to understand. “Just stay here. It’s safe here.”

“It’s not and Aeryn’s on the other side.”

“Aeryn, huh?”

“It was always Aeryn. Only ever her. They all know my weakness. Like a superhero, they go for the heart. That’s why I’m here.” 

“Is she all right?” 

“I don’t know. I need to keep them safe until I come back.” 

“Who?” 

“These two.” He stepped aside, and she saw two children. 

She had been so focused on her brother’s face that she hasn’t noticed the kids. There was a boy who looked about nine or ten, but he was at least a foot taller than Jay. There was also a little girl who had to be four or five. She looked very scared while the boy kept his head up and his back defiantly straight. They both had similarly colored dark hair and John’s blue eyes. 

“Dee, Essie, this is your aunt and, I’m guessing, your cousin,” he said.

“Jay,” said Olivia. 

John smiled. He correctly guessed where Jay’s name had been derived from. “Your Aunt Liv and your cousin, Jay.” 

“Jay, baby, this is your Uncle John,” said Olivia. 

Jay manner changed. He’d behind standing with his arms crossed over his chest and glowering at this stranger. He dropped his arms to his sides and his eyes widened. 

“The astronaut? Wow. I thought he was in space.” A thought occurred to him, and he looked at his cousins. “Are you from space?” 

The boy nodded like it was the dumbest question anyone had ever asked him. 

John shifted from one foot to other. Olivia felt the anxiety rolling off him. 

She moved closer to him and slipped under his arm. 

“Where’s his dad?” he asked.

“Navy. He’s deployed. Chris is a good man. A good dad.” 

“That must be hard, having him gone.” 

“I know something of waiting for loved ones to return.” 

“Yeah, sorry about that.” 

“You made a life out of a tough situation. I don’t fault you.” 

“I guess I’ll have to give him the if-you-hurt-my-sister-I’ll-kill-you speech next time.” 

“I’m glad to see you still think you’re funny.” 

“I’m still very funny,” he said, but he wasn’t quite smiling. He was thinking about something else. 

“What happened?” she asked. 

“I don’t have time to explain the whole thing. I should’ve left already. Every microt…” he trailed off. “You’ll care take of them. I need to keep them hidden. I need them to safe.” 

“You need them with family,” she said. 

“Yeah, Livy. I need them with family. Will you do it?” 

“Of course.” 

“God, you don’t know what a relief it is. But I had to go now. My wife needs me more now that my kids are safe.” He kissed her forehead again. “This is going to be hard.” 

He stepped away from her. He knelt down in front of his kids and pulled them both into a tight hug. 

“I love you both so much,” he said, still holding onto them. 

Olivia took Jay’s shoulder and pulled him close, partly to give her brother a little privacy and partly because she wanted him close. She could tell John didn’t know if was going to be coming back. It broke her heart. He had done this before. He had said goodbye believing it would be the last time before, but Olivia couldn’t imagine doing it with her child. 

The little girl started to cry, and the boy looked stoic, which—if he was like the other Crichton men—meant he was a wreck. 

“I’ll be back soon,” John said. “With Mom. We’ll be together again soon. This will give you a chance to get to know more family. It might be fun.” 

The boy said something in another language.

“I’ll be back soon,” repeated John. 

The girl said something too, but even if she had been speaking English Liv won't have been able to understand through her tears. 

“I don’t know, kiddo. As soon as I can. I have to go now.” He let go. 

Olivia felt like her own heart was being ripped out. She doesn’t know these children, but they are family. She loved them. She wanted to spare them heartache. She wanted to spare her brother too. Her brave, stubborn, loving, protective big brother. 

John straightened. He looked over to Olivia. The little girl was crying even harder and clinging to her father’s leg. He bent down and picked her up. He walked the few steps to Olivia and passed over his daughter. 

The little girl wrapped her arms around Olivia’s neck. She felt her shaky sobs. Her brother kissed her on the cheek. 

“Thank you,” he said. “I’ll be back soon.” 

She knew he didn’t entirely believe that. 

He gave his daughter one more kiss. He moved to the boy and lifted him off the ground. He gave his son another kiss too. 

“You take care of her, okay? You stay together, okay?” John said. 

The boy nodded, more serious than Olivia thought a child could be. 

“We love you both. Tell her every day and don’t forget it yourself.” 

He nodded again.

John put his son down and looked to Olivia. 

“I’ll take care of them. I promise,” she said. 

“Thank you, Olivia,” he said. 

Then, he was gone. Again. 

Olivia stared at the closed door. She could feel all three children looking at her, waiting. She was unsure what to do. 

“Are you two hungry?” asked Olivia. Stick to the basic problems. 

The boy kind of shrugged, which was a polite yes. 

“Jay, baby, go finished getting dressed as quickly as you can—” 

“I can’t go to school now!” he said. 

“You’re not. Don’t worry.” 

“Good.” 

“Get some Pop Tarts for your cousins. I have to make some phone calls.” 

Jay nodded and dashed into the kitchen. 

Olivia started to put her niece down, but she held on. She’d stopped crying at least. 

“Do want to come with me?” Olivia asked. She wished John had done better introductions. She didn’t quite catch the kids’ names. 

The girl nodded against Olivia’s neck. 

She left the boys on their own for the moment and went back into her bedroom. She retrieved her cell phone. She called the school first. Family emergency. The elementary school was filled mostly with military families; they understood family emergencies. The secretary didn’t ask any questions. Calling out of work went pretty much the same once she assured her boss her husband was fine. 

She dialed another number. She pressed the phone against her cheek as she rubbed the girl’s back. 

“Hi, Dad,” she said when a voice answered after the first ring. “It’s Olivia.” 

“Livy? What’s the matter? Why are you calling so earlier?” 

“I don’t want to say over the phone. We’re coming over. I wanted to give you a heads up.” 

“You’ve got me worried.” 

“I’ve got good news and bad news. Don’t worry too much.”

“I’ll try. See you soon.” 

They hung up. 

Olivia went back into the kitchen. The boy was suspiciously eyeing a colorful pastry on a paper towel on the table. 

Jay was staring at his cousin with his mouth slightly open. 

“It’s good. I promise,” said Olivia as she set the little girl down. 

She went straight to her brother’s side. She said something that Olivia didn’t understand. The boy broke off a corner of the Pop Tart and nibbled at it. He decided it was good and split it in half. It gave the other half to his sister. She took a huge bite and said something in the alien language again. 

“Does she speak English?” asked Olivia. “I never did get the translator thingies.” 

“She does. Sebacean is just easier,” answered the boy. 

“I see.” 

“We both have microbes. We understand.” 

Microbes. That’s what they were called. 

“Good. I have a couple of questions. Do you mind?” 

He shook his head. 

Olivia pulled out a chair and flopped down. The three kids were in front of her. “First, what are your names? I missed what your dad said.” 

“I’m D’Argo and my sister is Esther.” 

“I remember D’Argo. The other one I mean.” 

“He died in the war,” said D’Argo flatly. 

“Oh God,” said Olivia. She had always tried to imagine her alien friends well and happy. She wanted to ask about the war, but there would be time later. 

“Your dad called you something else.” 

“I mostly get called Dee. Dad calls her Essie, but Mom likes her full name. It means star.” 

“It’s very pretty,” she said and smiled at Esther. 

Esther smiled back. 

“Do you know how old you are? I mean in, I guess, Earth years,” she said. 

“Dad thinks I’m ten and Esther’s five,” said Dee. 

She wondered at how two years could make such a different in the boys’ ages. She guessed it was the world the Dee was growing up in. He was serious and protective. 

“Weird,” said Jay, speaking up. “He thinks.” 

“A year here is based on how the Earth going around the sun. It different out there with no Earth and no sun,” said Olivia. 

“I know,” Jay said quickly, glancing at Dee. 

“Anything else?” asked Dee. 

“Not right now, but I will have more questions later. Is that okay?” 

Again, he nodded. 

“What are we doing since I’m not going to school?” asked Jay. 

“Grandpa’s,” said Olivia. 

“Can we go to the pool?” asked Jay, hoping. 

“Sweetie, this isn’t for fun. I want to introduce your cousins and figure out what we are going to do.” 

“We aren’t staying here?” asked Dee sharply. 

“You’ll be with family no matter what,” said Olivia. “You’ll probably stay here, but we also have to think about anything long term. You’ll be together no matter what.” 

That didn’t seem to be a comfort to Dee. Olivia sighed. She didn’t have any other answers. She couldn’t lie to her nephew. She couldn’t look into his stern eyes and treat him like a child; platitudes weren’t going to work. 

“You will be together and you will be with family. I promised your father.” 

Dee nodded. He wasn’t ready to trust his aunt just yet. 

“C’mon. Nothing’s going to happen quite yet. We’re just going to see Jack,” said Olivia. 

“His house is fun. There’s a pool and everybody rides golf carts,” said Jay. 

Esther said something in Sebacean. 

“I don’t know,” said Dee. “You have to ask in English. Remember what Dad said. I’m the only one who speaks Sebacean.”

“What’s golf cart?” Esther said again in clear English. 

“They’re like little cars. They’re all open, and they don’t go very fast, but sometimes Grandpa lets me steer.”

“I didn’t hear that,” said Olivia. 

Jay covered his mouth and laughed. Esther laughed too, even though Olivia was pretty sure she didn’t know why. Dee didn’t smile. 

She suddenly felt a wave a pride towards her son. Whether it was a conscious choice or not, he was trying to lighten the mood. He was trying to show Dee it was okay. It wasn’t working particularly well, but Jay was trying. It’s what his father would do; it’s what John would do. 

Esther tugged on Dee’s sleeve. “What’s car?” she said. 

“Land vehicle, I think,” said Dee. 

“Not as cool as a space ship, but a station wagon is all we have,” said Olivia. The kids did not think she was being funny. She laughed at herself and clapped her hands together. “Right. There are a couple of things we need to do. I’m going to change out of my work clothes and then we are going to get you two,” she pointed to Dee and Esther, “outfits that blend in a little bit better and then to Jack’s. Sound good?” 

The kids nodded. 

“Jay, go find your old car seat. It should be in the garage. Dad pulled it from the attic before he left to give to charity, but we need it now,” Olivia said. 

He looked pleased to have an assignment. He disappeared in the direction of the garage. Olivia got her niece and nephew another Pop Tart to share before quickly ducking upstairs. She pulled off her slacks and pulled on a pair of jeans. The heels were replaced with a pair of sandals. 

Once she was back downstairs, she loaded all the kids into the car. Dee in the front seat with her, Jay and Esther in the back seat with Esther buckled into the car seat. 

“It’s hot,” said Esther. 

“It’s Florida,” said Jay. 

But Olivia remembered what she meant. The day wasn’t so bad for being so close to summer. She normally would have put the windows down in the car, but she turned on the A/C instead. “Are you guys going to be okay?” 

“Why? What’s wrong?” asked Jay. 

“We get Heat Delirium,” said Dee. “I’m mostly fine. Esther’s as sensitive as Mom.” 

“Thank you for letting me know,” said Olivia as she backed the car out of the driveway. “I’ll keep an eye out. You’re going to have to help with things like that. I remember some things, but it’s been a long time since I’ve talked with anyone who wasn’t human.”

“You guys aren’t human?” said Jay. His voice was very high pitched. 

“Half human,” said Dee without turning around. “Our mother is Sebacean. A Peacekeeper.” 

“I don’t know what that means.” Jay was very excited. 

“She looks human, but she’s not.” 

“You remember?” added Olivia. “You’ve seen pictures of Aeryn.”

“Oh yeah,” said Jay. 

Olivia drove to a shopping center in between her dad’s house and her own. She pulled into one of the parking spots in front of an Old Navy. 

“You three stay here. I’ll run in and get plain clothes for Dee and Esther,” she said. 

“What’s wrong with our clothes?” asked Dee. Ester and Dee both wore leathers like John had on. Not only would children in leather stand out, but they were also in Florida. Heavy leather was ridiculous on an adult or a child.

“They’re not Earth clothes. I want you guys to blend in. Will Esther wear a dress?” 

Dee shrugged. “I guess.” 

“Okay, I’ll be right back. Don’t drive the car away.” 

“Not until I’m sixteen, Mom!” said Jay. 

“That’s my boy. No stealing cars until you’re old enough to drive them.”

Dee looked worried. 

“I’m teasing,” she said as she got out of the car. “I’ll be right back.” 

She rushed into the store and grabbed the first thing she saw. A few minutes later, the kids had on stylish Earth clothes. She also pulled Ester’s hair back into two braids, even though she wasn’t very good at it since she only had Jay. 

It wasn’t a long ride to Jack’s condominium. After his house had been destroyed last time John was here, he’d moved. It wasn’t strictly a retirement community, but almost everyone was over sixty. Jack liked it. He didn’t have to worry about maintenance anymore. 

Olivia pulled into the guest parking lot. It was only the other side of the complex from Jack’s apartment. They all piled out of the car and trudged along the sideways that cut through the perfectly manicured lawns. 

She stared at the niece and nephew as they stared at the sunny world around them. Dee was talking quickly to Ester in Sebacean. He kept pointing to things. She wondered what they saw, how they understood it. It had been fascinating watching John’s crewmates understand Earth. But they’d been adults. The wonder was written all over Dee and Ester’s faces. They probably saw things they had only heard about from their father. Cars. Green grass. Blue sky. 

The complex was made up of a cluster of low stucco buildings. The pool was beyond the apartments and the ocean beyond that. Jay raced ahead to Jack’s building and up the external stairs to the second floor. He waited for everyone to get to the top floor before racing off again to the end of the hall and Jack’s front door. He reached the doorbell and Olivia heard it chiming inside. 

The door opened almost at once. Jack had been waiting. He started to speak but noticed how many people were standing in front of him. 

“What? Who?” he said, very articulately. 

“Inside first, Dad,” Olivia said. 

He stepped aside and she shepherded all three kids passed him. The door shut. They stood for a moment in the little entranceway to Jack’s two-bedroom apartment. She’d helped him decorate. It was all appropriately beach themed. Not too much, not too little. 

It was quiet for a moment. So quiet she heard a wave crash against the beach. 

“I’d like you to meet D’Argo and Ester. Your grandkids,” said Olivia.

Jack’s mouth fell open. He put it together immediately. She saw him process it. Children that weren’t Olivia’s or Susan’s. John’s kids. She’d seen John. He had been on Earth. 

“How?” he said. 

“Just on my doorstep. I don’t know.” 

She stepped closer and hugged him. They’d been through a lot in the last ten years. She felt him take a heavy breath. 

“Let’s get some proper introductions,” he said, letting go of Olivia. His eyes shown. 

“That tall young man is D’Argo or Dee and the darling little girl is Ester. John’s children. More Crichtons.” 

He shook his head. “Wow. Amazing.” 

He bent down and held out a hand to Dee, who shook it. He did the same to Ester. “It’s wonderful to meet you. I’m your grandfather. You can call me Jack or Grandpa, whichever strikes your fancy.” 

The kids just sort of stared. They were not prepared to call Jack anything at the moment. 

“How does everyone feel about a walk on the beach?” said Jack, straightening. 

“That sounds good to me. Kids?” Olivia said as clapped her hands together again. “And the best part is, if we get too hot, we can stick our toes in the ocean.” 

Jay looked eager. His favorite part about visiting Jack was the beach, just behind the pool and the golf carts. “Yes please!” 

Dee still looked restrained. Ester was looking between the two boys and perhaps trying to decide how to feel. 

“Suntan lotion first,” Olivia continued. 

All three of the kids were very patience as she lathered them up. She put a big glob on Ester’s nose, and she actually giggled. At least, one of John’s children was starting to feel comfortable. She saw a lot of Aeryn in Dee. She doubted she would see much of a smile from him until he was one hundred percent at ease. She also doubted that would be one hundred percent comfortable until his parents returned. 

When they were finally ready, they marched down to the beach. The wonder was back as soon as they stepped foot onto the sand. Olivia let the kids take off their shoes and race along the shore. Jay and Ester were happy. Dee hung back, but only a little. Olivia watched Ester carefully for any signs of heat whatever it was. 

“So, spill,” said Jack once the children were out of earshot. 

She didn’t answer right away. She pulled off her sandals and buried her toes in the sand. They started walking, several yards behind the kids, who were running in and out of shallowest waves.

“I saw him. He was here. Just for a few minutes, but he was here. That’s his son and his daughter,” she said.

“What happened, Livy?” 

“He knocked on my damn door. He asked me to watch them and was gone. I didn’t have time to call you. I barely had time to hug him. I wish you had been there.” 

“Is he coming back?” 

“I don’t know, Dad.” Tears burned in her eyes. “He has his doubts. He wouldn’t have come all the way here; he wouldn’t have left them with us if he knew for a fact that he was coming back.” 

“Where did he go?” 

“Someone has Aeryn. He went to rescue her. He didn’t give me any more details.” 

“Aeryn, eh?” 

She had to smile. “Right? Of course, it was her. She had to be pregnant when she was here last time. Dee’s ten.” 

“If alien pregnancies are like human pregnancies.” 

“Right assuming that.”

“Oh Johnny.” He rubbed the back of his neck. 

“He loves her. He had to do this.” 

“I wish he didn’t have to. I like to pretend he’s safe and happy.” 

“I think he is most of the time. He has Aeryn and two beautiful children. Two children we are going to keep safe, so he doesn’t have to worry about them.” 

“That much we can do. Jesus, Livy, your brother...” He didn’t have to finish the thought. 

“I know, Dad. I know.” 

They walked along for a while, watching the kids play, listening to the ocean. 

“I’m glad I’ll get to know the kids at least,” said Jack. 

“Me too. What are we going to do with them?” 

“Long term. I don’t know. School’s over soon, right?” 

“Two weeks.” 

“We just have to figure out those two weeks. We’ll send them to day camp with Jay after that. We’ll say they’re foreign. I’ll pay,” he said. 

“It’s not about money, Jack. It’s about long term versus short term. That’s still short term.” 

“That’s the entire summer. Do you think John’s mission might take months?” 

“I don’t know how long it might take, Jack. We just established we don’t know if he’s coming back.” 

Dee cleared his throat. Both the adults jumped slightly. They’d been so focused on their conversation they hadn’t noticed that he wasn’t with Jay and Ester. 

“Don’t worry,” Dee said. “I know.” 

Olivia’s heart broke all over again. These poor kids. 

“Oh sweetie, I didn’t mean for you hear that,” she said. 

“I said I know. Mom is in danger, and Dad is going into even more danger to get her back. It’s not safe. That’s why we’re here. He had to leave us, though. I had to look after Ester. She’s too little to go.” He looked close to tears. 

Olivia held out her hand. To her surprise, he took it. They kept walking. “You’re doing a wonderful job. Both your parents want to be here. They want to be with you. No matter what. You know that, right?”

He nodded. 

“Good,” said Jack. “You know that we’ll also do whatever we can to keep you safe, right? Just like they would.” 

Dee nodded again. 

“Good.” 

Dee had more questions and so did Olivia, but it was a beautiful day. They were at the beach. Worries always seemed far away at the beach.

****

They decided to stay at Jack’s for the night. They’d spent the rest of on the beach before coming back to Jack’s apartment and just hanging out. Though, that’s not what Jack would have called it. 

While the kids ate pizza by the pool, Olivia drove back to the house get pajamas and toothbrushes. She grabbed two of Chris’s old t-shirts for Dee and Ester. Seeing as her husband was deployed, he wouldn’t miss them. She stuffed her pajamas and clothes for tomorrow for herself and Jay in a duffle with the t-shirts and headed back to her Dad’s. God, she was glad it was Friday. 

When she got back, the boys were sitting on the edge of the pool with their feet in the water. Ester was sitting with Jack on one of the lounges and having a nonsensical conversation with Jack. She was speaking a mix of English and Sebacean, and it made no sense, but Jack was answering as if she was asking about the weather. 

She stood the gate to the pool area, watching. It was a cute scene. She didn’t want it to end. She didn’t want to have the talk with Dee that she was planning, the one where she got all the information and scared him even more. It could wait a little longer. 

She joined her family and enjoyed the warm evening until Jay asked if they could watch a movie. Olivia was still content to let the kids be content. They migrated to Jack’s living room. She put on a Disney movie from Jack’s very small grandchild collection. She listened for a while to Dee asking Jay questions like, “What’s that?” 

“A lion. It’s an animal.” 

“Can it really talk?” 

Jay giggled. “No.” 

Ester fell asleep almost at once, even though Olivia watched her fight against it. She sat with Jack at the table. 

“We still have to figure—” started Jack. 

“Not tonight,” she said. “They had a crazy day. Let them watch their movie.” 

He nodded. “I’m going to do a little research. Make sure John wasn’t spotted.” He got up and headed for his bedroom. 

While the warthog was singing, she got up and set up the guest room. There were two twin beds and an air mattress in the closet. It was set up so Susan’s family could visit and stay with Jack. Tonight, it would be the kids’ room; Olivia would sleep on the couch. 

She inflated the mattress and put sheets on all three beds. She laid out the clothes. She collected Ester. The little girl barely woke up as Olivia changed her out of her dress and settled her onto the mattress. Olivia paused at the door to watch Ester for a moment. She looked just like John. He was older than Olivia, so she’d only seen pictures of him at this age. The one she was thinking of was from her very first Christmas. She hadn’t even been a year old. In the photo, baby Olivia and six-year-old John were sleeping under the tree surrounded by wrapping paper. Christmas morning had been too much for them. Ester looked the same as her father. Her features were not as round; her hair was darker. She was still clearly John Crichton’s daughter. 

“Where’s your father, hmm?” she whispered. 

Of course, the sleeping child didn’t answer if she had known. Olivia sighed and closed the door. 

Jack was in the kitchen, finishing his coffee. 

“You want a cup?” he asked. 

“Decaf?” 

“Nope.” 

“I’ll pass. It’s too late. I’ll be up all night. Thanks, though.” 

“Suit yourself.” 

“Is there any chatter?” 

“Chatter? You’ve been watching too many military movies.” 

She dropped into a chair at the little table. “You know what I meant.” 

“Not that I can tell. I’ll send a couple of casual emails tomorrow.” 

“Do you have an obligation to report this or something?” 

“Maybe if John was still here. I’m not putting the kids through that. That’s too much. They’ve been through enough.” He paused. “You have this under control? Because his old man needs to get to bed.” 

“You’re not old.” 

“Gettin’ there. Good night, Livy.” 

“‘Night.” 

When his bedroom door had closed, she got up and joined the boys on the couch. Jay leaned in her direction and pulled him onto her lap. She liked having him so close. When the movie ended, she helped get them into bed too. She had to teach Dee how to brush his teeth. 

“I tried a dentic once. Personally, I prefer the brushing,” Olivia said. 

“Just don’t swallow it.” 

“Almost learned the hard way.” 

“What’s a dentic?” asked Jay. 

She held up her fingers about an inch apart. “Little worm about this big that cleans your teeth.” 

“You stick in your mouth and it moves around,” added Dee. 

“Ewww!” 

“It’s just as weird as using a brush.” 

“But it’s alive,” said Jay. 

“Alright, boys, into bed,” said Olivia. “Jay, honey, should we teach Dee about what we do every night?”

Jay looked at his cousin for a moment. “Yes, I think that would be good.” 

As the boys, got under their covers, she fished out a little, battered black day planner from the duffle on the dresser. She flipped to the current day.

“Could you explain it to Dee?” she said quietly as she sat on the floor in between the two beds. 

“Okay, my Dad’s away too,” Jay said. “So, we write down what we did today, and tell him later. He does the same thing; expect there’s stuff he can’t tell us ‘cause it’s classified. When he comes home or we video chat, we fill him in.” 

“What do you want to tell Daddy happened today?” she asked. 

“Big things today. I met my uncle and my space cousins.” 

She laughed. “Just regular cousins, sweetie.” 

“But space cousins is cooler.” 

“I’m just writing cousins.” 

“Fine.” 

“Anything else?” 

“No school!”

“Shhh.” She glanced at Ester, who was still fast asleep. “Okay, Dee’s turn.” 

She drew a line to split the day in half. Dee looked very unsure. 

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” she said. “It’s up to you.” 

“Today we said goodbye,” Dee said. He ducked under the covers. 

She wrote down what Dee had said, and the words felt very heavy. She tucked Jay under the covers and kissed him good night. 

“I love you,” she said. 

“I love you too,” he answered. 

She moved to Dee’s bed. “Kiss good night?” she asked the part of the sheet where Dee’s head should be. 

He peered out, and Olivia planned a kiss on his forehead. “Good night. I love you too and so do your parents.” He hid under his sheets again. She flipped the lights. “I’ll be in the living room if you need anything.” 

She collapsed onto the couch. What a day. She still had the planner with her. Only the last line she added. Saw John. Potentially just became a mother to two more kids. This was such a mess. That life that her brother led. It was mad, just insane. She dragged herself back to her feet and got ready for bed on autopilot. It was only just past ten thirty. Under the door, she could see the light was still on in Jack’s room.

She made a cup of tea from the stash she left for herself in the cabinet and took a book out to the lanai. She read hardly a word. She stared at the same page for a long time. She mostly just listened to the ocean and tried not to think about what her brother was doing right now.


	2. Chapter 2

Light poured in from the other side of the long wall of windows, but the sunshine was gone. Dee could almost smell the rain. He didn’t live in a place that smelled like rain. He opened his eyes and remembered. He was in a place called Florida on the planet Earth. Dad had left him and Ester with Aunt Liv, so he could rescue Mom. Dee was supposed to look after his sister. He crawled to the end of the bed. She slept on a mattress. He sat back on his heels and watched her for a microt. She was on her side with her hands curled under her chin. Her dark hair—long and dark, like Mom's—was coming out of the braid Aunt Liv had done. Seeing her safe, he relaxed just a little. 

He flopped back onto his pillow. It must be very early because the apartment was still. Even the ocean seemed quieter. He didn’t know if he was allowed to get out of bed. He didn’t know anything about this world. 

He’d heard many stories, but it seemed so different from the way Dad had described it. He had always wanted to come here, but he wanted Dad to show him. He didn’t want to have to ask his aunt or make up answers when Essie asked. He wanted Dad to point and explain and give way too much detail. He wanted Mom to add what she remembered. The way they talked about Earth when he or Ester asked for a bedtime story. He didn’t want to do anything on his own. 

Where were they? Was Mom being tortured? Was Dad being shot at? The thoughts knotted his stomach. Where were they? 

He stayed in bed, bathed in the grey light, staring at Jay and willing him to wake up. He tried not to think about his parents. He tried not to think about what he would be doing on a normal day. It wasn’t working. 

He had no way of knowing what time it was on Rotem, but he would certainly be in school. He would be in classes learning science, or math, or linguistics, or universal and Rotem history. He would be bored because he was smarter than most of the other kids in his class. He didn’t say anything. He was good at not saying anything. 

He would stay after maybe with one of his few friends and usually did his homework before walking Ester home. Mom and Dad would be home by then. He had combat training with Mom. Then, they’d have dinner as a family. This time of year, he’d help with the packing for their summer vacation to Moya after their meal. 

The two or three monens a cycle they spent on Moya each cycle were his favorite times of his life. He loved the noises the ship made. He loved the golden ribs. He loved Pilot. Moya was busy most of the cycle. She was home to a contingent of Eidelons. The Crichtons did not interrupt the ship’s work; they were along for the ride. They stopped on a new planet every few days. That was his life and he liked it. 

He must have dozed off again because the next thing he knew, he was listening to faint voices. They were coming through the door. One sounded familiar. He was fully awake in a microt. He threw the sheet away from the body and raced into the living room. He didn’t see the adults. The center chamber—or it was a kitchen here—was separated by a half wall. He careened around the corner. 

“Da—” The word died on his tongue. 

Dad wasn’t in the kitchen. It was only Jack and Aunt Liv. He knew at once he’d heard Jack’s voice. 

“Oh sweetie,” said Aunt Liv. “You thought...Oh, kiddo.” 

“Just us, buddy. Sorry,” said Jack. 

Tears burned. He didn’t like the way they looked at him. It was pity. They felt sorry for him. He tried to hide the crushing disappointment better by wiping the unshed tears away. He didn’t want them to think he was weak. 

“I didn’t think anything. Am I allowed to be out of bed?” Dee said. 

“Of course,” said Aunt Liv. “Are you hungry? Do you need anything?” 

What he needed, she couldn’t give him. He shook his head. 

“Well, I’m making waffles. So you’ll get breakfast whether you want it or not,” Aunt Liv said. 

“What are waffles?” he asked. 

“You’re in for a treat,” Jack said. “Livy makes good waffles.” 

“It’s a mix, Dad,” Aunt Liv said with a smile. 

“Still, very good. They’re like pancakes. Do you know pancakes?” 

“No.” 

There was a cry. Everyone jumped. Ester. Dee ran to her. She was still on her mattress, tangled in her blankets, and pressed against the foot of the bed. She didn’t know where she was. 

“Mommy! Daddy!” she yelled in Sebacean. She saw Dee and reached out to him. 

Aunt Liv and Jack were right behind him. Jay was awake now too. But Essie didn’t want them. She wanted her brother. He dropped down on next to her and put his arm around her shoulders. 

“Hey, we’re at Jack’s, remember?” he said, speaking in Sebacean so the other’s couldn’t understand. He was conscience they were watching. He tried to ignore them. Like Dad always said to do to when strangers stared. 

“When’s Da coming back?” Ester asked, still crying, but not as hard. 

“I don’t know, Essie.” 

She sniffed. 

“We have to be strong until then. Like Mom always says, right? This is just another planet. We can handle that, right?” 

Ester nodded. Aunt Liv seemed to know the crisis had passed. “Who wants waffles?” she said gently. 

“Me!” said Jay. 

“What are wa-fulls?” asked Ester. 

“I don’t know, but everyone seems really excited about,” Dee said. He switched languages. “You have to ask in English, remember?” 

“What are wa-fulls?” she asked again. 

“It’s like a cake with syrup and butter. Come on, sweetie, I’ll show you. We’ll make it together,” Aunt Liv said. 

Ester looked at Dee. He nodded. 

She got up. Her face was still red. Dee’s smile faded when her back was turned. They all tramped into the little kitchen. Dee hung back as Ester and Jay helped mix the batter. Aunt Liv tried to get him to flip the iron, but he let Jay do. His cousin was practically shaking in hopes of getting to flip it. 

They ate after there was a huge mess in the kitchen. They sat on the lanai under the heavy clouds. Dee decided he liked waffles. Ester got syrup all over her face and hands. She and Jay were laughing. Dee couldn’t do it. He felt like he was sitting on the other side of the room. 

Breakfast was always a special time for him and Mom. Dee’s school started hours before Ester’s and Dad liked to sleep in because he didn't sleep a lot. Mom made him breakfast and they ate together. She usually walked him to school too even though he was old enough do it on his own. He loved it when it was just the two of them. It felt wrong without her. Both Jack and Aunt Liv left him alone. 

“What now?” asked Jay as Aunt Liv was clearing the dishes. 

“Well, what would you like to do? There’s not much to do in Florida on a rainy day,” she said. It had started raining as she spoke if the weather had heard her. “It sounds like a movie day to me.” 

“I like movie,” said Ester. 

“First,” said Aunt Liv. “We need to clean up, especially Ester.”

She clapped her hands together and watched them pulled apart slowly. She laughed at herself. 

“I think she needs a whole bath. Fill the tub and dunk her in,” said Jack with a grin.

“The pool?” suggested Jay. 

They were all laughing and Dee couldn’t take it. He didn’t say anything, just got up and went back into the little bedroom. He hid under the covers. He was so far away from own his bed. Where were they? 

He heard the door open and close. There was a weight on the bed. He didn't uncover himself. 

"You okay, kiddo?" It was Aunt Liv. 

He grunted. 

"I know it's rough. I wish it was easier. I wish it wasn't something you had to deal with. I want them here too. Just know you can talk about it. You can talk to me or to Jack. We're here for you."

"I know." He said the words, but they didn't seem to have meaning. 

"Okay, I just wanted to make sure." She squeezed his shoulder. The weight lifted off the bed. The door opened and closed again.

He heard the others getting ready, the water running, the voices, the laughing. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know how to join in. He was still feeling guilty for messing around with Jay last night, for watching a whole movie without thinking about his parents once. He remembered when he’d seen Jay on Aunt Liv’s lap. 

When things were quiet again, he finally emerged after changing into the clothes his aunt had brought. In the living room, they were picking out another movie. 

“What about _Annie_?” asked Aunt Liv. 

“The singing orphan? No,” Jay said. 

“What’s orphan?” asked Ester. 

“Some whose parents are dead,” Jay answered. 

“Like us?” said Dee loudly. 

Aunt Liv gasped, but tried to cover it up. Jack appeared from the kitchen and folded his arms. Ester looked scared. Her bottom lip started to shake. 

“He didn’t mean it, sweetheart,” Aunt Liv said. She went over to Ester and tried to distract her further. “Let’s keep picking out a movie.” 

“Let’s go for a walk,” Jack said with a stern tone. 

“It’s raining,” said Dee. 

“I’ll get you a jacket.” 

Two hundred microts later, Jack closed the door behind them. Aunt Liv had watched them leave but hadn’t said anything. Dee had on a raincoat that came down to his knees. Though, the rain had mostly stopped. They walked down to the beach again. It was entirely deserted. The sand was smooth by the misty rain. Dee liked it. 

Jack put a hand on Dee’s shoulder as the walked along. 

“So,” Jack said after a while. “Do you live on Moya?" 

It wasn't the question Dee was expecting. “Half the time. We have a house in the capital city of the planet Rotem. Do you know it? It’s in the Hynerian system, but it’s mostly a Sebacean planet.” 

“I can safety say I’ve never even heard of it.” 

“The other half of the time, we’re on Moya.” 

“I loved that ship.”

“We live on Moya when there’s no school. It’s called the Swelter. For a couple monens a cycle, it’s too hot for Sebaceans to be out during midday. Most of the city goes to the islands where it’s cooler. We go to space. I like that best. We were probably going to stay away longer this cycle. Mom doesn’t like it so much in the city, but she says school is important. But it’s changing there. For us. We got noticed more. Stuff happened. It wasn’t as safe. For us.” 

“Why not?” Jack asked. 

“Dad ended the whole war with a wormhole. Mom says people still are hungry for power. They think Dad can help get them power. Mom says—” He stopped himself. His lip trembled. He was trying so hard to be brave, but he still wanted his parents and his mom most of all. 

“What war?” 

“The Peacekeeper's war with the Scarrens. Dad made a really big wormhole that would’ve eaten the whole galaxy if both sides didn’t agree. That’s my birthday. He did it for me and Mom and Ester, even though she wasn’t born yet. That’s what he always says.” 

"Your father is a very brave man like you are being right now. I'm very proud of you. I now I have to ask the question you're dreading. What happened this time?" 

Dee swallowed hard. “Mom was only supposed to be gone one night. The commerce station only stops a few times a year. There’s a lot of stuff you can’t get except when the commerce station comes. Mom goes every time. She leaves in the morning and comes back early the next day. This time, she went to the station and didn’t come back.” 

Dee saw it all as he went over the details. Spending the day being worried. Listening from the stairs as Dad talked to the local Peacekeepers. Spying as Dad tried to convince the officer that Mom was never late, that something must have happened. 

“You don’t know my wife, Officer Meeka,” Dad said. “I can’t get in touch with her. She wouldn’t take off like this.” 

“Sir, women can be fickle. Perhaps—”

“If Aeryn heard you, she’d deck you. She wouldn’t do that to her children. She wouldn’t. I’m not asking for much. Just make a few calls. I know the thing is still up there. The communications officer won’t talk to me because I don’t have any authority.” 

“Okay, okay. Just one call. This is on you when they interrupt her shopping like there’s some big emergency,” said Meeka. 

“Just make the call. Please.” 

Dee had heard the officer contacted the Peacekeeper’s communications so he could be patched through to the station. He started to move so he could continue to listen when their personal communicator started to ding. It was a happy little song. The big unit was in a cutout in the wall of the kitchen. 

Dad had rushed to the unit and Dee had come out of hiding. Dad was too focused to send Dee away. He had answered the call. The screen stayed dark. There was supposed to be video. Dee moved closer. But it was video. The room was dark. Shapes moved in the blackness. He could feel his heart pound against his ribs. He heard the thump, thump, thump in his ears. Something was wrong. 

“...John?” It was Mom. She was mostly shadow. Her voice was deep, gravely, like she had been yelling or was half asleep or both. 

“I’m here, baby. I’m here. Where are you?” 

“Mom!” Dee had yelled. 

She didn’t act like she could hear them. They could only stare at the outline of the woman that meant so much to both of them. They couldn’t reach her; they couldn’t even talk to her. 

“Read it,” said another voice from far away. 

“No,” Mom said. There was a thud. She had disappeared from view. 

“We’ve taken her,” the unfamiliar voice had said. “We’re very powerful and we only want one thing: wormholes. You come to the ship alone and we will allow you two to trade places. A simple transition. The woman for Crichton. Come to these coordinates—alone—and we’ll release her. This message counts as your proof of life.” 

Mom’s outline seemed to snap to attention. “Don’t John! Take them and run! Run!” 

There was another loud smack and Mom screamed. 

“You bastards! You let her go! Or I’m coming and not to turn myself in!” Dad had yelled at the screen. She couldn’t hear. 

“I asked for cooperation,” said the other voice. “Are we going to do this the hard way?” 

“Yes,” Mom said, venom in her voice. 

“Fine. By force then.” The voice said something that didn’t translate. 

At the same moment, the door to their house was kicked in. The invaders looked Sebacean but were identical from their faces down to their green uniforms. The Peacekeepers jumped into action. The first of the invaders fell and it was clear it was a bioloid. Dad had pulled Dee out of the way. The shots and yelling filled Dee’s ears. He was lost. He was scared. Dad had shoved a pulse pistol into his hands. 

“Go, Dee. Go get Ester and keep her safe,” Dad shouted. 

Dee had taken the weapon, staring at it without fully understanding. He knew how to shot. He’d learned as soon as he could walk. He had to use it before, but never in his own house. Still, he knew what to do. Or he should know what to do. Everything seemed to have left his brain. 

“D’Argo! Go!” 

He snapped to attention. He knew what to do. He was forced to push everything aside. The way Mom had taught him. Focus. Do what you have to do. Focus. Do what you have to do. 

He had darted up stairs. One of the bioloids saw him. It had scrammed after him, grabbing his leg. Dee fell toward. He didn’t think. He focused. He did what he had to do. It was only himself in between the monsters and Ester. He flipped around, still in the bioloids grasp. He had pulled the trigger and hit his target in the face. It rolled backward down the stairs. 

Dee had left the creature there and continued to Ester. She was hiding in her closet, the way she had been taught to do. He climbed in with her and tried to stop her crying. 

It had seemed like arns before the door was thrown open again. Dad stood in front of them. He was out of breath and wild-eyed. 

“We’re going. Now,” Dad had said. He scooped Ester up. She was happy to be held. 

The house was quiet. The Peacekeepers were waiting at the exits. 

“Commander, where are you going?” asked the chief officer. 

“I have to keep my kids safe,” he had said. “I’ll be back. I want to know who was on the horn, who has my wife.” 

He hadn’t waited for an answer from the officers. A shout from outside said that another wave of bioloids was closing in. They raced to the module. It was kept in a garage and Dad liked to work on it at night. They hardly used it, but that’s where he headed. He hadn’t even waited for Dee and Ester to buckle up—something he was usually so careful about—before blasting off. 

“This is going to be very rocky,” Dad had said. “I’m sorry. You’re not going to like it and you’re not like where we’re going.” Ester, who had only just stopped crying, started again. “Hold on to her, Dee.” 

They broke atmosphere. The shooting started almost at once. Dad was yelling again. Ester was screaming. The ship was small, hard to hit, but they were close. Dee had been able to tell what Dad was doing. Focus. Do what you have to do. Mom’s words again. 

He had flown the ship in a way Dee had never seen before. He started making wide circles and then aimed back towards the planet. The whole module started to shake. Dee thought the entire ship had been about to fall apart, just break into pieces and float away. Dee had realized what Dad was doing at the last moment, the microt before the wormhole opened. He had smelled it. 

Dad had been right; Dee had not liked the wormhole. He didn’t know how Dad could even start to figure out where they were going or which way was up. Everything was blue and spinning. He had just clutched at Ester and hoped Dad knew what he was doing. 

Then, it was over. The universe had gone still. 

“Where are we?” Dee asked though he knew the answer. 

“Earth.” 

He pulled Ester from the back on his lap. She curled against her chest. 

“You’re leaving. Aren’t you?” Dee had said. 

“Yeah, buddy. I have to. But you’re going to family. I’m going to find my sister, your aunt. I have to go get your mother.” 

“I can come! I can help!” he yelled back. He had nearly cried. 

“You have to stay here. I need to know you’re both safe.” 

“Dad, please. I can help.” 

“You can’t, but I know what you can do. It’ll be a huge help. You can look out for your sister. I need you to do that.”

“But—”

“D’Argo.” 

End of discussion. It was decided. Ester had gone back to her seat. They had flowed down to Earth and Dad had left. 

Dee was left behind and afraid. He couldn’t remember what not being afraid felt like. It was strange how it had become apart of him so quickly. From the moment Mom had been half an arn late, he had been terrified. 

"I should've gone with her," Dee said. 

"Go with who? Your mother?" 

"Yes, of course." 

"Dee, you're only ten." 

"I could've done—done—done something!" 

"I know that feels that way, but—"

"Don't say I'm too young."

"That's not what I was going to say. Son, from what I know of your mother, she would've done whatever it takes to keep you safe. I'm sure she was grateful you weren't there."

"I could've done something," Dee repeated. 

“I know, son,” said Jack. He squeezed Dee’s shoulder gently. 

"I shouldn't have said that to Ester."

“It was the fear talking. It’s a powerful emotion. But you what else is a powerful emotion?”

“What?” 

“Hope.” 

Dee was quiet. Sometimes he had hope, sometimes he didn’t. 

“It’s only been a day,” continued Jack. “I know you want them back. Hell, I want them back. But things take time. You have to have patience and you have to have hope. You have to believe with all your heart that your mom and your dad are coming back. I know your Dad never, ever gave up that how’s he managed to make his way home. It worked for me too. My son disappeared down a wormhole for years and he came back and he brought you and Ester. Do you know how happy that makes me?” 

Again, Dee didn’t know what to say. 

Again, Jack kept talking. “Of course, I wish it were under better circumstances and I wish your parents were here to make proper introductions, but I am so glad that I get to meet my grandchildren.”

“It took a long time. For Dad to come back, I mean.” 

“Yes, it did. I was patient and hopeful, but it still took frelling forever.” 

Dee looked at Jack quickly and felt a smile almost reach his face. Jack had cursed and in Sebacean! 

“We don’t say that word at home,” Dee said. 

“Well, sometimes you need a good curse word. Frell is a pretty good one. Go on.” 

Dee stepped away from Jack’s grip. He faced the ocean. There was an ocean on Rotem. The water there was green, like a bottle. Here, it was dark blue in the stormy weather. He looked at Jack for a moment and Jack nodded. 

They were totally alone on the wide beach. Humans wouldn’t have understood anyway. 

“FRELL!” Dee screamed out over the water. “Frell! Dren! Yotz! Frell! Frell! Frell!” He shouted until he was out of breath. 

“Feel better?” asked Jack. 

“Sorta.” 

“This is more than anyone should be asked to handle. Being left behind is very hard. I used to go off on missions and leave my family behind. I used to fight with your dad about it. I never understood why it was so hard; I was the one who had to do all the work. I’m a very stubborn man, but I hope I’ve changing. It wasn’t until John became an astronaut that I realized how wrong I’d been. And that was even before he disappeared. Your dad has a hard job to do, but so do you. You have to keep your chin up.” 

“Be patient and be hopeful.” 

“At the very least in front of Ester. You’re her whole world right now and she looks up to you. She’s following your lead. Anytime you need to let it out, you come talk to me. We’ll take a nice long walk and you can yell at the ocean. Okay?” 

“Okay.” 

They’d turned around at some point. They were quiet until they were walking up the gravel path back to the complex. Dee was following behind Jack. 

“Do you really think they are coming back?” he asked. 

“Without a doubt,” Jack answered quickly. 

It was good to hear coming from someone like Jack. He did feel better. They heard the voices before they got back inside. There was a movie playing, but no one was watching it. Jay was chasing Ester around and round the living room. Dee caught her right away and held her while Jay tickled her. For a few minutes, laughter replaced the sounds that seemed to be echoing in Dee’s ears. 

When they settled down again, Aunt Liv pulled Dee aside.

“I’m glad you came back. We nearly had a melt down,” she said. 

“I’m here,” Dee said. 

“That’s all we can ask for.” She planted a kiss on his cheek. 

The rest of the day passed in a similar way. Aunt Liv, Jay, Ester and Dee all left Jack’s at night. Aunt Liv didn’t want to sleep on the couch again. She had another inflatable mattress that she set up in Jay’s room. Dee and Ester had to share, but he was used to that. He shared with her anytime they stayed anywhere other than the house or Moya. 

The next day was sunny again, but they spend most of the afternoon in a large commerce center. There were dozens of stores under the glass roof. Aunt Liv got them more Earth clothes. Jay was bored with the whole thing and said so, repeatedly. Dee, on the other hand, was fascinated. He’d never seem so many people who looked the same. He’d never been to a planet with one species before and he hadn’t noticed it until now. 

The next two days they spent with Jack while Aunt Liv went to her job and Jay—after a lot of yelling—went to school. There wasn’t much to do at Jack’s expect worried and imagine the worst. Jack showed him one of Jay’s computer games, but there was a lot of shooting and that felt a little bit too much like his life. They spent more time on the beach too. 

On Thursday as he learned the day was called, Dee was supposed to go to school with Jay. They made up a story about him growing up in the South Pacific, wherever that was, with anthropologist parents. Aunt Liv drove them to school and Dee took one look at the number of kids running around on the field beside the school and—as Dad would say—chickened out. He couldn’t face them. 

He should be used to staring. John Crichton and Aeryn Sun were famous. Everyone knew their names and the names of their children. Not everyone knew their faces. They could go for a while as just another Sebacean family. Then, there would be one person. He’d have seen a wanted beacon back in the day and he would say something to someone else. She’d tell someone else. Then, everyone would know and there’d be pointing and whispering. Dee couldn’t face them. 

So, he went to work with Aunt Liv. Ester stayed in the childcare center on the first floor of the building, but Dee was two times too old. He waited in an extra chair in Aunt Liv’s office, bored, but too shy to say anything until one of the assistants enlisted him to help file. The time went fast and it was good practice. Dee realized he wasn’t very good at reading English. He was used to Dad’s cramped, square letters. The files had lots of notes in curly writing. Even after he had something to do, he was glad when Aunt Liv said it was time to go. 

The next day—the last day of the work cycle—a woman called Nina came over to babysit. Dee and Ester got to stay at Aunt Liv’s all day. She was nice and brought games. After a weekend of mostly running errands and just hanging out, she came back the next week. 

Nina was nice and pretty and smarter than Aunt Liv gave her credit. Towards the end of the week, she, Dee and Ester went to a park nearby. They went for a hike, which was just a really long walk. Ester got tried, so they turned around and Dee let her ride on his back. Nina called it a piggyback ride. They played an Earth game called I Spy. Essie was tried and kept forgetting to speak English and after awhile Dee did too.

"You're John Crichton's children, aren't you?" Nina asked. 

Dee didn't answer her but snapped at Ester to stop talking. 

"It's just us and the trees," she said. "I won't tell." 

A few days ago, Dee would've thought Aunt Liv was overreacting. He had seen how dangerous it could be. He understood that they really weren't safe. He still didn't answer. 

"I'm not going to tell anyone. I'm just curious. I took a linguists class we spent a few weeks talking about the alien languages. You were just speaking what was it?"

It wasn’t a routine by any means, but Dee was beginning to get comfortable. He and Ester slept in Jay’s room. He even made room for their clothes in a drawer. Their toothbrushes sat in a cup in the bathroom. He started to enjoy the new things, especially the food. It didn’t stop him from worrying and the fear never really left. He didn’t really sleep much. Besides the horrors he saw when he closed his eyes, the house was too quiet. No Moya noises. No city noises. 

As Dee finally fell asleep on the second Friday, his last thought was it had been half a monen since he’d seen his parents. He had never been away from them for so long and never both at once. Mom went on her trips to the commerce stations and Dad was needed by the Peacekeepers sometimes. But he always had one of them. He always thought he would have one of them.


	3. Chapter 3

And John walked away. He turned his back on his kids and walked away. He took one step and then another without looking back. He made it to the front door, which had seemed impossible. Then, he was outside and retracing his steps back to the module without Dee and Ester. 

He was doing this for them. He had to keep repeating it to himself in his mind. He was doing this for them. He was doing this for them. They were safe. Not just for the time being, but forever. They were with family, and they were hidden beyond reach. They could stay here forever. They could grow up human on Earth, where he’d grown up. He had to face the very real fact he might not be coming back. 

In the past, these harebrained schemes had been more fun. Well, fun wasn’t the right word. There was less at stake. If he died, what did it matter? He’d risked everything because they people he loved most were in danger. There were consequences if he didn’t make it back. His heart was split now. Aeryn, D’Argo and Ester were all the people he loved most. What could he do when only one of them was in danger? He couldn’t give up, but he couldn’t go blasting in with his children in toe.

So, he walked away for them. He didn’t even notice how blue the sky was or the heavy, humid smell of Florida. He didn’t see the neat houses or the canal that ran behind them. He felt the heat under his leather duster, but that was merely a discomfort. He was home for the first time in ten cycles, and he hardly cared. He didn’t want to be here. Keeping all of humanity safe was worth more than seeing his family. 

It was better to just stay away. He wasn’t sure if he’d be able to close the wormhole on the way out. He hadn’t been sure he’d be able to open it on the way here either, but that had worked just fine. He tinkered with the theories, went on a field trip or three over the years. He didn’t sleep that well; he had to do something. It’d come in handy today.

John reached the baseball field where he’d left the module. The old girl was showing her age, but she still flew like a dream. He tinkered with her, too. The decals were long gone. The while shell only showed through in a few places, covered over with equipment and wear. 

There was a police car parked next to the module. A single officer stood in front of it, scratching his head and talking on his radio. Damn it. John bent low and dashed across the field, approaching the officer from behind. He stuck Winona—still with him after all these years—against the poor man’s neck. 

“Yeah, that’s a gun,” John said calmly. 

The man froze and raised his arms. “Threatening an officer is not a good idea. Why don’t you just—”

John cut him off. “Keep your hands up.”

The officer did as he was told. John reached for the sidearm. Earth weapons were so heavy. He tossed it aside. He grabbed the radio too. 

“Sorry, friend. I’m in a rush. Don’t turn around. Just walked towards the car.” The officer took a few steps. “Just keep going.” 

John holstered his pulse pistol and was back inside the module before the man reached the bumper of his car. The engines fired and the module left the planet’s surface with a kick. The officer was thrown forward. John wished he could roll down a window and yell, ‘Sorry!’ The safety on his weapon had stayed on. He would not have hurt the man; he just needed to keep moving. He’d wasted too much time already. 

When Earth’s atmosphere was behind him, he barreled towards the wormhole again. Warning alarms beeped at him from all sides. It wasn’t stable. He should wait for it to close and open again. There wasn’t time. 

It was a rough ride to say the least. He never found the sweet spot that let the wormhole undulate around his ship. He stayed on the edges and when around and around and around. His only saving grace was the humming in his head. He couldn’t miss his exit if he tried. He blasted through and did a couple more flips. His stomach kept spinning. 

No shots fired in his direction. The alarms still rang, but not to alert him he was being targeted. He scrambled for the controls and righted the module. The commerce station was still there along with a few other transports, the local Peacekeepers’ ships, and even a leviathan. Not Moya, of course. The pyramid ship was gone. The pyramid ship that had fired on him. The two-towered ship that held Aeryn captive. 

He had no proof other than the shots they’d fired earlier, but it was the only ship out of place. It was like nothing John had ever seen and after almost fifteen cycles he’d seen a lot. Not everything, but he knew the major players by now and nothing of them designed ships like that. 

He didn’t shout or yell or swear; his heart just got a little heavier. What now? He had even less to going on this time. This time. Frell. His bad luck. His curse. Yet, somehow, it was always Aeryn. From the moment they’d met, he dragged her into danger over and over and over again. Always Aeryn. 

He wasn’t giving up. He couldn’t. It just would’ve been nice to have a place to start. He would keep looking no matter what. He had to for Aeryn and for Ester and Dee. They need their mother. They needed—no. He stopped himself. The kids were safe. He had to put them out of his mind, package up the thoughts into a gift-wrapped box and put it away. Safe, but out of sight. He only had room in his head for one thing: getting Aeryn back. 

A different system beeped. John’s eyes focus. He was being hailed. 

He flipped on the comms. “What?” 

“Commander?” It was a Peacekeeper. John had gone from outlaw to hero in a matter of microt. Not, perhaps, in the eyes of the High Command, but lower ranks treated him with the utmost respect. 

“Crichton here.” 

“Sub-Officer Christo here.” He knew Christo. Young, but smart. “Permission to bring you aboard? Office Meeka would like a word in person.” 

“Why? I’m kinda busy here,” John snapped. 

“I’m going to have to insist.” It was Meeka’s voice. “It will be worth your time. I assure you.” 

“You have information?” 

“We have to talk first.” 

“Fine. But this is going to be fast.” 

Christo came back on channel. “Deploying the docking web.” 

There was nothing else for John to do but wait for his ship to seemingly pilot itself aboard the Frontier. 

The local Peacekeepers were basically police. Only the highest-ranking officers—like Officer Meeka—were from the battle group. The rest were from Rotem or other planets in the system. Instead of a police station on the surface, there was one large Frontier station. They looked like a command carrier, but were about the fifth the size. 

The module touched down. Meeka was waiting, arms crossed, foot tapping. He was a tall man with light hair and eyes. 

“Don’t give me that face, Meeka. I haven’t done anything.” His feet haven’t even hit the grated floor. 

“Wormholes, Crichton? Really? I’ve seen your file. You swore to High Command—” 

“Are we about the start another war? For Christ’s sake, it was an emergency.”

“Where did you go?” 

“My kids are safe. That’s all you need to know.” He took a deep breath. “Now, what can you tell me about my wife?”

Meeka shook his head. “Not yet. I’m not the one you have to talk to.” 

“Damn it! We’re waiting time!” 

“He’s already on the channel. We were waiting for you.” 

“Well, I’m here, aren’t I?” 

Meeka must have got in trouble for John’s stunt. John had promised to the High Councilor that all the wormhole knowledge was gone. Einstein might have removed the weapon knowledge, but he couldn’t take what John had learned in his own. 

“Follow me.” 

John didn’t even get a sir. He must’ve really got Meeka in trouble. The Peacekeepers didn’t try to hide the fact they liked to keep tabs on John. Meeka had shown up at their doorstep the day after they landed. Just to introduce himself, he claimed. He didn’t interfere, but now John guessed he probably reported back. He should’ve known about the leftover knowledge. 

They walked through the hallway. It curved slightly as they moved along. Meeka stopped outside a door and places his hand into a security station. The door opened. They went down another passage and another security point. This time, John also had to stick his hands into the machine after Meeka. It imprinted a barcode on his wrist. They entered command. 

Meeka nodded to a sub-officer, who opened a channel. Another command appeared on the screen. There was a scramble on other side and Braca appeared. He worked his way up too. He was a commandant now and working towards High Council. 

“Braca! Long time no see. What do you know?” 

“Hello, Crichton.” 

“What do you know?” 

“I need some information first.” 

“I didn’t know I could still do it. I can’t create weapons. I was only given the information for that one time. One time only. Blue light special.”

“Crichton,” Braca said in a warning tone. 

“For my children, Braca. I need to keep them safe. You have to understand that.” 

Braca looked down his nose. Peacekeepers didn’t believe in family ties. He didn’t say anything. 

“Time is short,” said Braca. “Here is the deal I am prepared to strike.” 

“Wormhole for my wife, you frelling asshole.” 

“Not in the way that you a thinking. I’m a reasonable man. We’ve continued our research into wormholes.”

“That’s against the treaty! Some bastard is trying to get back at you, even the score. If this is on you—”

Braca spoke over John’s shooting. “It’s purely for travel. No weapons. We are abiding by the rules. You come in for one solar day, just one. You lead us in the correct direction.”

“Fine. Done. You jerks all know how use me. What do you know?” 

“The ship is Colarta design.” 

“The piña coladas? The lizard things? Aren’t they mercenaries?” 

Braca cleared his throat. “Yes, often time they do work for the Peacekeepers. They’re excellent trackers. While the local officers know you, like Officer Meeka, but the whereabouts of you and Office Sun are not publicized. This group seems to have been hired for that purpose.”

“By who? I can tell you know.” 

He didn’t answer. 

“Braca? Who is it?” 

“We believe,” he stopped. 

“Who? You’re wasting time.” 

“They were hired by a Peacekeeper.” 

“Which one? Which one?” And suddenly John knew. He knew who had come crawling out of the woodwork. The anger coursed through me and a sneer spread over his face. “Grayza.” 

“Yes. We believe so.” 

John picked up a stool besides the console he was using and threw it across the room. Several of the officers jumped to their feet. Meeka’s grip closed around his sidearm, but he held up a hand to calm the others. 

“I’m good. I’m good,” John said. He was not good. This was not a business transaction. It was personal. Grayza’s hatred for John ran deep. 

“Meeka has been authorized to help in the pursuit,” said Braca. 

“Pursuit?” 

“She’s gone, well, a bit rogue.” 

“Rogue? Are you kidding me?”

“Do you think this was a sanctioned mission? Come on, Crichton, do you think that little of us?” 

John just shot him a dark look. “When do we leave?”

“The Marauder is waiting,” said Meeka. 

“I have your word that you will assist our research team.”

“Yes,” John called over his shoulder as he headed towards the exit. 

* * * *

After three solar days and he still hadn’t slept, Meeka had ordered John drugged. He’d fought it, but the medical officer got the needle in and he went down like a tree. He woke in the med bay, feeling only marginally better. He stayed flat on his back as the druggy after effects slowly wore off. 

He had nothing to do but think of Aeryn. In the dark. In pain. Scared for her family. Damn it. 

He hadn’t let himself settle down long enough to think through the what ifs. That’s why he hadn’t slept. He hadn’t laid down long enough for the possibility. He’d paced up and down the passage. 

John didn’t sleep well at the best of times. His family was very used to his strange hours. He stayed up most of the night. He creep into bed at long last and Aeryn, usually still asleep would curl against him. He could sleep then with the combination of exhaustion and the safety he felt with her. She let him sleep in the morning and got Dee to school. He got up when Essie needed to get up. 

But they were on a Marauder; there was only enough room for ten people and that was maximum capacity. There wasn’t a lot of passage. Here, he made the crew nervous, hence the drugs. 

He wanted to be doing something. Waiting for the ship to get to Grayza’s command was not doing enough. He was anxious and bored and had nothing to distract him. 

The medical officer entered and started looking through a cabinet. She didn’t realize that he was awake. She was tall and thin and had dark hair like Aeryn. When she turned around, he noticed her eyes were dark and her features more square. 

“How long was I out?” he asked. 

“A solar day.” 

“How long do I have to stay?” 

“You’re not bound. You passed out too quickly to get to the quarters Officer Meeka assigned to you.” He hadn’t even been to the quarters yet. 

He sat up. His boots were at the end of the bed and he bent down to laced them up. His duster was folded on the other small bunk. He eased it over his shoulders. 

“What’s your name?” 

“Office Yael, sir.” 

“Well, Officer Yael, I thank you for your excellent drugs.” 

“He’s on the command,” she added, anticipating his next question. 

“Again, I thank you.” 

She rolled her eyes. John decided he liked Yael. 

He swept out the room and went to find Meeka. 

He looked up when John entered command. 

“I was just coming to wake you,” he said. “We’re here.” 

John clenched his fists. He was so close. He breathed out. “What’s the plan?” 

The ship rocked before Meeka had a chance to speak. The crew jumped into action. The ship was all noise and chaos for a few microt. There was a line a Prowlers waiting within range. The canons were brought around, but no other shots came from the enemy ships. 

“Warning shots,” growled Meeka. “She’s officially gone rogue. Braca was supposed to tell her we were coming. She was supposed to let Officer Sun go and surrender.” 

John whirled to face Meeka. “That was your plan! That was your frelling plan! Have you met Grayza? She wants blood, specifically my blood. She’s not going to surrender. If you told her we were coming, Aeryn’s already dead.” 

“Don’t make me drug you again.” 

“This isn’t a damn joke! This is my family.” 

“She’s still a Peacekeeper, Crichton.” 

“Yeah, a Peacekeeper who has never played by the rules. You just told her she’s lost. What’s going to stop her now? Tell me that. Tell me what’s going to stop her from dying with her secrets. My wife is not on her ship. I can promise you that.” 

“No one expected—this wasn’t my call.” 

“Yeah, blame someone else. I’m going. She wants me after all. You be on standby. I’ll haul ass back here when I have what I need.” 

“You can’t go alone. I won’t allow it.” 

“Fine,” John said flatly. “I’ll take Yael. She still knows how to fight, right? I can say she’s there to check on Aeryn.” 

Meeka breathed out through is nose. Clearly, no one had warned him how frustrating John could be. 

“Fine, but keep your comm open.” 

John nodded. 

Meeka tapped his own comm. “Office Yael report to the maintenance bay.” 

“Yes, sir,” came her immediate response. 

“And I’m taking my module.” 

“Crichton!” 

“It’s the only way she’ll let me get close.” 

By now, John didn’t need an escort to get to the maintenance bay. Meeka just followed. Yael looked confused when John motioned for her to climb into the module with him. She looked to her superior officer. 

Meeka nodded. “His orders are my orders.” 

“My assignment, sir?” she asked 

“Gather intel and just try to keep him alive. Commandant Grayza is supposed to be surrendering. We have reason to believe she won’t.” 

“Yes, sir.” 

Meeka looked at John. “Fly straight.” He was genuinely wishing John luck. 

“Yes, sir,” John answered without sarcasm.

Yael settled behind him and John closed the hatch. 

“Why me?” she asked as soon as Meeka couldn’t hear them. 

“Someone is going to need medical attention. Probably me. Maybe Grayza if I can get my hands on her.” 

“Are we going to die, sir?”

“I’m going to do everything I can to prevent that.” 

He could feel her considering him as she began the launch sequence. 

“I’ve got your back,” she said at last. 

“Same here.” 

They were silent for the rest of the flight. They approached the line of Prowlers. Two moved away and let them pass. Then, they squad fell into formation. 

Grayza’s command had diminished by a lot. If looked at from certain angles, it was John’s fault. Inside of a war hero, she was the one who signed the treaty. The Peacekeepers publicly said the treaty was a successful end to the war. He was on the inside enough to know the Peacekeepers were not actually happy with the outcome. Treaties were not victories. 

While technically still a commandant, she had no real power left. She had been ousted from High Command. She had nothing but the title and a single Frontier. She had regained a little swash back during the war by using the Grand Chancellor and promising him a successor. But he was dead and then they found out the kid wasn’t his either. She lost everything again. 

All this was very acutely on John’s mind. Grayza could be making a mad grab for power or after old-fashioned revenge. Or both. 

The Prowlers turned back. The docking web took hold.

“You ready?” he asked. 

She pulled out her sidearm and checked the pulse cartridge. “Yes, sir.” 

The module slid into the maintenance bay. Two escorts were waiting. They were fully suited. He couldn’t see their faces through their helmets. 

“You sure?” he asked instead of getting out of the ship. 

“Yes, sir,” she repeated. 

He opened the hatch. The escorts snapped to attention. They moved forward and reached the ship by the time John and Yael had climbed out. 

The taller of the two—it was the only way to tell them apart—reached for Yael. John reacted. He took a step in between them. The faceless officer tried to shove John out of the way. John shoved back. 

“Don’t touch me,” he warned. 

“Orders are for only you to be taken to command,” said the office. His voice coming through the speaker in his helmet. 

“She stays with me. She’s just a medical officer. Okay?” 

On queue, Yael reached back into the ship and pulled out the small medical kit she’d brought. 

“Let them decided,” said the second officer. 

They motioned with their weapons which way to go. There was no choice but to go. It was way too late to turn back now. The security was even tighter on this. It was more like the gammak base. They passed through four checkpoints before reaching their destination. 

John had expected to be taken to command. Instead, when the final door open, they entered private quarters. The room was large, disproportional to the space saving technique used throughout the rest of the ship. It was black and red, of course. At the center was a wide bed and on it sat Mele-On Grayza, looking like the queen of a burning city.


	4. Chapter 4

“Relieve him of his weapon and remove the female,” Grayza barked.

The two helmeted Peacekeepers started to move. Yael was ready. She had the shorter one on his knees with his arm pinned behind his back before John could object to Grayza’s demand. She could fight all right.

At the same moment, the taller officer trained his pistol towards her head. John took care of that. He jammed the man’s hand upward before he was fully in position. The weapon fired, but well above Yael’s head. John swept the leg and the office landed on his back. He stepped on the officer’s chest. The Peacekeepers always underestimated John and his companions.

“Enough!” screamed Grayza. She rose from the bed with more control than her tone suggested.

There was silence except for Yael and John’s heavy breathing. A pipe rattled.

“He keeps his weapon,” said Yael. “I’ll go and take these two with me.” No ma’am. No sign of respect.

Grayza’s lip curled. They’d showed her up already.

“Go,” she snapped.

John released his Peacekeeper. Yael paused for a microt more and stared down her superior officer. Finally, she let go.

“Don’t go far,” said John.

“I’ll be at the door,” she said.

Grayza moved closer as the others collected themselves and left the quarters. Her appearance had changed drastically since John had seen her last. Granted it had been probably eight cycles, but there was something else. The purple makeup was gone. Her cheeks were sunken. The roundness to her body was gone. It seemed to be taking an effort to stay standing. The force with which she had existed before was gone. She was sick, maybe even dying.

“John Crichton,” she said, her voice oozing.

He took a step backward, away from her. Her dress was as low cut as ever; she could reach that gland, the one that had—he tried to not think about it.

As he expected, she swiped at her chest. She was slow and he knew if was coming. He just pushed her arm way. She staggered with the shift in her balance. He caught her by the elbow to keep her from entirely falling over. He didn’t mean to; it was instinctual. She wrenched her arm out of his grasp.

“Why don’t be both just keep our hands to ourselves?” he said as he moved further into the room to away from her in the only direction he could go.

Beyond a great column, there was a seating area. John went there and collapsed into one of the high-backed chairs. He was already exhausted from the encounter. Grayza watched him. She moved as he moved, but didn’t sit down. He didn’t miss the way she leaned on the table. It was more for support than anything else. It undermined what he was sure she thought was an intimidating pose.

“Sit down before you fall down,” he said.

“You cannot order me around.”

“It wasn’t an order. It was a friendly suggestion. Okay? Why don’t you sit down?” he said.

She sat.

“C’mon, Grayza, you know I don’t care whether you surrender or not. I’m here for one thing. Where is she?”

The sneer was back on her face. “No.”

John leaned forward. “What do you mean no?”

“There’s a deal on the table. Wormholes for your traitor.”

He fought the urge reach across the gap and strangle her. She was weak; he could do it. Crais, Scorpius, they had caused problems in his life, but neither of them approached the trauma that Grayza has put him through. She would deserve it. She deserved death and he deserved to be the one who brought it upon her.

His hands were shaking. “Don’t try to make this about the Peacekeepers. This is about you and me and the revenge we both want. You don’t want wormholes; you want me to suffer. You knew where I was. You sent in goons to try and grab me. There was no reason for you to take Aeryn. You could have just had me.”

“Oh Crichton, you think you know me so well,” she crooned. He gave her a sharp look. He didn’t even have to say anything to send her scrambling for words. “My aim was to safeguard Peacekeeperdom from the Scarrans when they inevitably break the treaty. There was no other goal.”

“Lady, you’ve been out of touch. Your friend Braca has been keeping tabs on me. He frelling knew where I was. You could’ve just asked. Besides, I’ve agreed to help with the wormhole travel plan, so you’ve got what you wanted.”

“I want weapons.”

John sighed. “That’s an old song. Even Scorpy stopped singin’ that tune.”

“He’s a fool. And you are too if you think I believe—”

“I. Do. Not. Have weapon capabilities!” he said very loudly. “I never did. It was unlocked for that single solar day. No one should have that power.”

“That’s not good enough.”

“You’ve said that to me before.”

“And then a cycle later you held the galaxy hostage with a wormhole weapon.”

“The deal was fulfilled. They’d kill me before I got close enough to ask for. It’s a lost cause.”

“This is my life, Crichton.”

He stood up quickly and she recoiled. “And this is my family! That is maybe one thing you can understand.”

“I’m a Peacekeeper, a soldier. There is no family.”

That confused him. Grayza had given birth to a daughter days after the treaty was signed. She was so high ranking that they let her keep the baby. It hadn’t hurt that they thought it was the Grand Chancellor’s kid.

Grayza has been disgraced, but he didn’t think they’d do anything to the daughter. He’d seen her in newsreels, always at her mother’s side. She was Dee’s age, but looked much older, more sullen.

“They took her,” she said. “She’s a cadet now. I don’t even know where.”

John felt the smallest, tiniest twinge of something towards her that wasn’t hate. He knew how being separated felt, three times over. She must have seen something in his expression. She raised an eyebrow.

“It’s not sympathy,” he said quickly. “There are some truths that transcend everything. No mother should suffer the loss of a child.”

“I’m not a mother.”

“Fine, but you should still have certain rights.”

“As many rights as you have.”

The words took a microt to sink in. The meaning took even longer. His fists tightened into balls at his side. She stared up at him and another twisted smile crept over her features.

“No,” he said. “You will not put this on me. I won’t listen.”

“You deny your child? You are not the man you claim to be.”

She was playing with him. This was why she brought him here. The wormholes were an excuse. Aeryn was the bait. He’d been right; the only goal was to make him suffer. The mere chance that he had a kid out there would worry in the back of his head for the rest of his life. He thought about Princess Katralla too often. He sat back down. It was too much.

“If you’re not her mother, I’m not her father. Doesn’t work both ways,” said John. “They wouldn't have let her in if she was a half-breed, as you have called my kids before. Nice try.”

She straightened and gave him a cold stare. Like his dad had told him after his first car accident, never admit fault. The thought would still haunt him, though. He didn’t even remember the girl’s name. He was suffering all right. And so was Aeryn.

“Is this over? Can I go home now?” he said.

“I haven’t got was to needed yet.”

“What do you want? It sure as hell ain’t wormhole weapons.”

“I want security for my people. Security that you falsely promised.”

“No one can guarantee security. You just proved that. I never wanted any of this. I just wanted to live a quiet life with my family. Your people kept tabs, sure, but no one was hunting us. You dragged me back and put them at risk. Ester, she’s only five cycles old. Do you know what you put her through? Do you think that made her feel safe? Huh, Grayza? You don't care about anything, but your revenge. Well, I'm suffering. Even your daughter was just a pawn.”

“I am not a mother!” she yelled. It was a lot of false bravado, a lot of screaming at nothing.

“Well, Aeryn is and you’ve separated her from her children. You know how that feels. No matter what you say. You make it right. You've done everything you could in the name of Peacekeepers to make me pay.” His voice had gone quiet. It seemed to scare her. “You forget that I want revenge too. You tell me where she is or I am going to pry the information out of you!”

She looked defeated. The fire that had risen in her eyes during their screaming match had faded again. She'd been the old Grayza for a moment. She's been his enemy, not a sick commander without her power.

John held his breath. The wrong motive, the wrong word could send her back into a rage. He needed her to surrender. He needed her to be defeated. Aeryn needed it most of all. Could it be that easy? He didn't trust it. His plans never worked.

His hand twitched towards the pulse pistol strapped to his leg. She saw. The fire blazed again.

“Peacekeepers! Za!” she yelled and it echoed in John’s ears.

A door at the back of the quarters opened. He had assumed that it led to a washroom. Guess what they say about assuming? Instead, half a dozen Peacekeepers came spilling out. John couldn’t say he was surprised. It was her last attempt, the only thing she had left in her arsenal.

Time stopped. John had a choice. He was already standing. She was so close and he could end her. He could get there faster than the Peacekeepers. He could get to his gun first. He could pull the trigger. He could end her.

He would lose Aeryn. He would lose D’Argo. He would lose Ester. He’d never make it off the ship. Grayza would be dead, but orders to surrender or no orders to surrender, he would not be forgiven for killing her. He made his choice. She would live, but she didn’t need to know that.

In a single movement, he was behind her chair with Winnona pressed to her head. The Peacekeepers had the good sense to stop. All six of their guns were trained on him.

Yael came busting in, another Peacekeepers unconscious at her feet. He could only see out of the corner of his eye. His focus was on the officers in front of him.

“Commander,” she said in a warning tone. “What are you doing?”

“Negotiating,” John said, calmly.

“John,” she said in the same tone.

“Just give me a microt,” he said. “Now, I see two options. I’m guessing you know the choices. However, I am going to spell them out you. Commandant, this is really up to you. So, listen closely.” He pushed the gun harder against her head.

The Peacekeepers held their ground.

John continued, speaking to the Peacekeepers, “The first option is to pull the trigger and then I turn my gun on you. Maybe you kill me, maybe I kill you, but I will definitely have killed her. The second option is that she tells me what I want to know and I leave. With Officer Yael.”

It could honestly go either way. 50/50. Split down the middle. Both dead, but she would’ve won. Both alive, but he would’ve won. To Grayza, there’d be pros and cons to both options.

“Crichton,” Grayza said. “What are you doing?”

“I would die for my family! If that is the only way to protect them from you, then I will!”

His finger trembled over the trigger. They would be safe. The love of his life, his children, they would be safer without Grayza in the universe. But he couldn’t guarantee that Aeryn would be okay. He would give it all up for that kind of a guarantee.

No one was moving. The collective group seemed to be holding their breath.

“I want—” Grayza began.

John didn’t let her finish. “It’s not about what you want!”

Still, no one moved.

John bent forward and hissed in her ear. “I don’t know what’s going on in your head, but I’m thinking about my children. I’m thinking about how I’m never ever going to see them again. I’m thinking about how they’re never ever going to see me again. I don’t know what you consider that child that you gave birth to but think of her. Think of her.”

He was so close he saw her jaw relax. Her whole body went slumped just a degree. None of the others would be able to see.

“There’s a prison in the asteroid belt in the Kaster sector. She’s there. I wasn’t able to ensure her safety,” Grayza said.

John pulled his gun away from her head. Behind him, Yael spoke.

“Situation defused.” She must have been talking in her comms.

Another group of commando burst in and there was chaos. Weapons, yelling, bodies filled the space. The two groups of officers shouted at each other. Neither side would lower their weapons.

It was Yael’s voice the cut over the others. “We have orders to take her into custody. Commandant Grayza operated without permission from High Command. She went against the Treaty. She put us all at risk. Stand down!”

That gave the first of Grayza’s men pause. He lowered this gun and the rest followed. Grayza was restrained and left in her seat.

John wanted to run but had to content himself with pacing back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. Meeka’s commandos were securing the ship. Commandos were doing this and that. He barely noticed or cared about what was going on around him. His heart was racing ten times faster than when the guns were pointing directly at him. He knew where Aeryn was. He had a location, but she still wasn’t safe.

John pulled Yael aside after half an arn. “Let’s go.”

“Not yet. Meeka is coming.”

“I won’t wait.”

“A little patience, please.”

Grayza laughed. “Still at mercy of the Peacekeepers.”

It took a great deal of willpower to ignore her. “I’ll go on my own if I need to.” For once, he knew where the Kaster system was.

“Kaster is a solar day away. You need our ship and Meeka needs to secure Grayza.”

He grabbed her arm. “It’s already been too long. If we came all this way, but don’t get there in time…Please.”

Pity crossed her face. It wasn’t a look he as used to seeing on a Peacekeeper. Perhaps it went along with being a medical officer. “Let me see how long until Meeka gets here.”

He clenched his teeth, but let her step away. The pacing started again. He felt Grayza watching. He was still trying to ignore her.

“You’re just going to leave me here?” she called as he made the turn for another lap.

“You’re alive, aren’t you? That’s more than you deserve,” he said as he walked away.

“We’re bound, Crichton. Our fates are the same.”

“Not anymore. Now, shut up.”

“Milena.”

He stopped and faced her. “What is that?”

“My daughter’s name. I thought you should know.”

He was on the opposite side of the room and still her scent filled his nose. He felt the echoes of her touch, heard the sweet nothings she had whispered in his ear.

He gagged and tried to cover it with a cough. She smiled.

He couldn't be near her anymore. He couldn’t wait. He looked at Yael and she read the look on his face. “Okay, take your ship and go. I’m sure Meeka will understand.” 

“Absolutely not,” said Meeka, appearing in the doorway. “We need to brief you and secure the commandant. We’ll leave tomorrow.”

“Absolutely not,” mocked John.

Meeka gave him a long-suffering look. “This has all been for you. The very least you can do is operate on our timetable.”

“This is all for Aeryn. Frell, just let me go. I’ll keep my word. I’ll do whatever you want. I just have to know my family is safe.”

Meeka rolled his eyes.

Yael stepped forward. “I’ll make sure he comes straight back. He’s right. We don’t know what kind of danger Officer Sun is in.”

“Not the immediate concern. I need you here. If the reports are true, Commandant Grayza will need medical attention.” 

John started to swing a fist at Meeka, but someone beat him to it. Yael reacted first and Meeka hardly knew what hit him.

“Go,” she called as Meeka tried to regain his balance. 

And John went. 

* * * *

John piloted the module towards the large, spider-like structure on the surface of a large asteroid. It was the only sign of life within the field itself. He could only guess it was the prison. He had no plan. He wasn’t sure if this would be a sanctioned release. No way in and no way out. He only had so much fuel. It meant there was only one chance. Aeryn was depending on this single shot. Frell it all. 

He’d had an entire solar day in his cramped ship, flying flat out to get to his wife. He guessed Meeka had let him go. No way he got away from the Peacekeepers without even a chase. His module could outrun a Frontier, but it was no match for a Prowler. None appeared on his sensors, so he kept flying. 

He signaled to the base and he was given a landing vector without question. One of even hailed his comm. Either they knew he was coming or they just didn’t care about guests. 

The rock was void of life except for the building. Most of the system was void of life. There had been a commerce planet until a few cycles ago, which is why John knew about it. There’d been a storm in the asteroid field that had all but destroyed the settlements. No one lived there now. Apparently, it was just the prison now. 

The building clung to the side of a rock. The asteroid was enormous, but probably not big enough to supposed an atmosphere or much gravity. Security measures, he guessed. There was a large center building with eight, long arms that snaked across the surface. 

As John landed at the coordinates, he felt the ship slip through the invisible bubble of artificial gravity. He flipped a sensor and saw there was breathable air too. He hated these bubbles. They always made him feel like if he took a single step in the wrong direction, he’d end up in the vacuum. He’d take a planet with an atmo any day of the week. 

He gingerly climbed out of the module. His boots clomped loudly on the metal grating of the landing strip. No one came to greet him; no one tried to shoot him. The place seemed abandoned. He found a door and started for it. What else could he do? It wasn’t even locked. 

Inside, there was just a long, dim hallway. The walls, the floors, and the ceiling were all the same dusty blue. There were not windows. It was still strangely quiet. John suddenly wondered if the place was abandoned. He’d parked the module next to a few other ships, but who knew how long they’d been there. A computer could have easily split out the landing vector automatically. 

Grayza could’ve lied. There could be no one here. He pushed the thought aside and started walking. 

At the end of the hallway, there was another unlocked door. He pushed it over with the toe of his boot. The octagonal room was almost entirely empty. More doors led to other hallways. They were thick with enormous bolts and complicated electronic locks. In the middle was a desk that seemed too small for the man sitting behind it. He was Sebacean, but he looked more like a pumpkin in a tight uniform. He was reading a holographic screen. It took awhile from him to look up. 

He yawned. “What division?” 

John didn’t have an answer. He should’ve had a plan before coming in here. 

“Whatcha want?” the man said more sharply. “No one here is eligible for release. I don’t know why you bothered to come all the way out here. I’m not letting anyone out.” 

They weren’t going to just let her go. He had no official orders; Aeryn wasn’t officially here. “I need to question a prisoner.” 

The man narrowed his eyes. “And a call won’t have worked?” 

“Can’t have the information getting out.” 

“Don’t trust the network?” 

“‘Friad not.” 

The man shrugged. “Probably a good idea. The system is frelling old. Who are you looking for?” 

John approached the desk. The man changed the screen in front of him. “A Peacekeeper traitor called Aeryn Sun.” He hated the words that he was forced to say. 

He entered a few keys. “Only brought in a few solar days ago?” 

His swallowed. “That’s her.” 

“The file says ‘Release only to the custody of a senior officer with a commandant's orders.’ Do you have papers?” 

“I just need to talk to her. Ask a few questions.” 

“Forgot to ask her something?” The man was badly trying to hide a smile. 

“I didn’t forget to ask her something. My superiors forgot.”

“And yet you’re the one trekking to an abandoned sector to interrogate her.”

“Just my luck, right?”

“It’s always the low man that gets dumped on.” 

“You understand me, friend.” 

The other man hefted to his feet. “I’m Albin, by the way.” 

“Officer Meeka,” lied John. 

Albin motioned for John to follow and headed towards one of the heavy doors. This one was locked, to John’s surprise. He watched as Albin put in the code and pressed the same symbol four times. 

"What is this place?" asked John. "It's not like any prison I've ever been to." 

"It's not for real criminals. It's a hiding place. When people need to be disappeared, they get sent here. It’s why we’re in an abandoned sector. It's why the place looks empty. We drug the prisons, so the staff is minimal. There are only five of us in the whole place and a medical officer so comes when she feels like it. That's it." 

They walked through the door. Suddenly, there was noise. It wasn't loud. In fact, it was eerily quiet, like a wind of voices. 

On either side of the passage were cells. Each cell was thin and dimly lit. They all held a single person of wildly varying race and extensive medical equipment. The voices came from these people. None them were still but nothing of them were exactly moving. They murmured against whatever drug held time. 

John tried not to look surprised. And disgusted. He could easily have killed Albin on the spot for participating in this. It was one of more horrific things he seen the Peacekeepers do. Some of these people had probably been here for cycles and cycles. Disappeared until later use. Merely leverage. 

John had to take a few quick steps to catch up with Albin. “You a Peacekeeper?” he asked, make conversation to cover up what he was feeling. 

“No. I was from the commerce planet. The Peacekeepers are our biggest client, though.”

“I’m surprised we trusted an outsider with this.” 

“See, the point is that we’re outsiders. Untraceable.” 

“How many people?” 

“Four hundred at this facility.” 

There were others facilities. The thought made John’s stomach turn over, but it wasn’t his problem. He had only one thing on his mind. Well, three things. Get his wife. Get back to Dee. Get back to Ester. 

Albin stopped. John nearly walked into him. 

“Prisoner 59062,” Albin said, pointing. 

The cell was just like all the others, except Aeryn—the poor woman who had given up so much and gone through so much all for him—was the person lying on the cot. She wore a ratty, blue uniform. Her hair fanned out beside her on a dirty pillow. Like the others, she struggled against the drugs. It had only been a few solar days, but she seemed stretched thin, worn out. 

There was a cut on her lip, the type that comes from getting hit. Her hands her nearly placed over her stomach, but her wrists were red raw. She'd fought against the people who'd taken her and she'd fought even after they had her. Even in the middle of all this, he felt proud. That was his Aeryn, his wife. She was a fighter. His anger swelled too against those who had forced her into a place that she needed to fight.

Albin unlocked the door. He stepped aside so John could enter the cell.

"Well, I can't exactly talk to her like this, can I?" John snapped, hoping his temper would be interrupted as impatience.

Albin entered the cell and fiddled with a panel by the IV tubing running below Aeryn’s collarbone. "I can ease back on the drugs. Makes them real easy to talk to...and do other things."

John’s jaw tightened. "I'm not here for that.”

Albin shrugged. "Doesn’t matter what you’re here for. You’ll leave and she’ll stay.” 

“She’s a blood traitor,” John said though his teeth were tightly clenched. 

“That doesn't bother me. I'd still frell her." 

It boiled over. John swung. It wasn’t great form. His knuckles connected with Albin’s jaw and sent a quiver of pain up his arm. Albin went down and John kneed him in the face. He sprawled at John’s feet. At least that had been easy. 

He yanked the cloth tucked around the mattress into a strip, then hauled Albin’s unconscious body closer to the bars. He knotted the fabric around the man’s wrists. ‘See how you like it,’ he thought was he was finished. He gave Albin’s boot a kick as he turned away. 

Aeryn was fighting against the drug. Albin clearly hadn’t woken her up all the way. He knelt beside her. Sometimes he’d watch her sleep. She looked so unlike herself when she was dreaming. Aeryn had sharp edges. They’d softened as she’d found herself in her years away from the Peacekeepers, but they melted when she was asleep. He would give anything for her to wake up at this moment. 

He brushed her hair away from her face. Her lids fluttered open, but eyes rolled back. 

“Aeryn, I’m here.” She didn’t respond. “It’s John. I’m here.” 

Her head jerked in his direction. “John?” she said, her voice breathy. 

“I’m here.”

“Where are our children?” 

He kissed her forehead. “They’re safe. I’m worried about you now. C’mon, babe, it’s time to get up.” He tried to pull her up. She merely flopped back against the thin mattress. 

“Can’t move...Can barely think,” she said. She still sounded very far away. 

He didn’t have time to be gentle. He went to the panel Albin had used to adjust the drugs and found the dial Albin had used. It was separated into sections by colors. The needle hovered between white and green. John turned the wheel until pointed to the top end of green, closer to the red section. 

Aeryn gasped and sat up as if electricity had coursed through her entire body. It was like the scene in Pulp Fiction. It was like watching someone came back from the dead. 

He grabbed a pack of gauze from among other medical supplies. He covered the injection site at her collarbone and with his other hand pulled. Aeryn jerked away but managed to keep from crying out. She was so strong. 

He taped the gauze over the now bleeding wound. 

“Let’s go,” Aeryn said before he got the chance. 

She gripped his shoulder and pulled herself to her feet. She was unsteady, but she stayed upright. They moved quickly down the passage. There was no one there to stop them. He could see the door at the other end. Aeryn was leaned even more heavily on his shoulder. Whatever he’d used to wake her up seemed to be wearing off. 

“We’re almost there,” he said. 

She didn’t answer. She was focused. 

John reached out for the handle of the door to the center hub. It opened on its own. Another guard was on the other side and he started to call out, “Albin, you better not be frelling the—” The sentence died on his tongue. Everyone just stared in surprise for a microt. 

John and the other guard reacted at the same moment. John drew Aeryn behind him, but he was already keeping her upright. He clumsily grabbed for her pulse pistol. The guard had his weapon ready first. 

“Stop!” said the guard. 

John had no choice but to raise his hand away from Winnona. 

The other man looked nervous. Albin had said it. This prison wasn’t like most prisons. The guards were there to run the place, not to defend it. This guard, however, looked a hundred times more capable than fat Albin. He looked fit and well trained. 

John spoke first. “This is a sanctioned release. There just wasn’t time for the paperwork.” 

“I can’t let you go.” 

“You don’t have a choice! I’m defending my family. You are not going to win!” John yelled back. 

“You are John Crichton?” the guard asked. 

“I am.” He shifted his weight in order to better support Aeryn and hoped the guard didn’t notice that John would not be able to fight in this position. 

“I was warned you might show up. You only made it this far because Albin is an idiot. Now, you’ll both have to stay. I’ll put you in the same cell. Does that make it better?” 

To be so close and to be stopped now. They needed to make it through one more door. To be dead was one thing. Dee and Ester would grow up never knowing what happened and probably assuming the worse. They would know their parents died to keep them safe. To be stuck in a limbo, a living death worse than Heat Delirium, it was just...unacceptable. He was not going to let that happen. He was not going to let Aeryn go through that. 

He let her go. She slid to the floor, completely unable to support herself now. He didn’t look back, just lunged for the guard. He had no time for good form. It was more like a bar brawl than anything else. But John had surprised the other man. Perhaps he was well trained, but he didn’t have any real experience. 

They fought. The guard got in a few lucky strikes to John’s side and that was the only moment he thought he might lose. He kept swinging until he was the only person moving. 

It took Aeryn calling his name to make him stop. “Enough,” she said when she, at last, had his attention. 

He breathed heavily. He had blood on his knuckles. He didn’t know whom it belonged to. He also didn’t know if the body below him was alive or dead. He didn’t care on either count. 

“They just can’t keep frelling with us. I’m done.” 

“I know, but right now I just want to see my children.” 

He wiped his hands on the guard’s pants. “I can make that happen.” 

He scooped her up into his arms. She rested her head against his chest. They encountered no one else. John opened the roof of the module and placed her in the back. 

“Where are they?” she asked as he powered up the module. 

“Earth.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 4 is up! I am so sorry it took so long. Life just got away from me. I moved with rather short notice and work and you don't want to hear all my excuses. Thanks for you patience and thanks for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

Olivia needed a break. She needed a break from the three wild, edgy kids in her townhouse. The house had never seemed small before. The open living room and kitchen, a bathroom and Jay’s room were downstairs and upstairs there was only the master suite. The kids needed to run off some energy, but she also had a ton of laundry, grocery shopping and bill paying to do.

She needed the house empty, so she called Jack. He’d taken the kids out to lunch and then to the park. She was just standing in the house reveling the quiet. She was grateful that day camp would be starting on Monday. All three kids would be going to the same place at the same time. It would make life easier. She was also grateful that Jack was being so helpful. With her husband deployed, it was always nice to have Jack so close. But this, being a parent to three kids, this she would not have been able to do this without him.

She exhaled slowly and shook her hands, releasing the tension all the way up to her shoulders. She had also needed to be able to worry out loud for one minute. She felt it was all bottled up. She had to smile for the kids. Dee was nearly always close to falling apart. He kept his smile on for Ester. And Olivia kept her smile on for him. It was exhausting and heartbreaking. The poor kids. Her poor brother. 

She’d talked to Chris on a video chat last night. It was the first time she’d been able to talk to him face to face. They emailed nearly every day, so he knew what was going on. They had decided on a long-term plan for Dee and Ester. She’d written a very detailed email to Susan and to Jack outlining that plan and asking for help and input. It was stressful and sad. There was a very real chance that this arrangement might be long term. They’d passed the two-week mark and somehow that make this seem like long term was likely. 

She sighed. The house was quiet so she could get things done. In between cycles of laundry, she worked on the rest of the house. She sat down at the kitchen table to get started on the bills when there was a knock. Olivia swore. Bills were awful and required the most amount of concentration. She should’ve done them first. They were back already. No way Jack had had time to go to the park.

The knock came again. She frowned. Jack usually knocked just as warning. He usually let himself in. She stood up and started for the front door, hoping it wasn’t their grumpy neighbor. She didn’t have the patience to deal with him today. 

The knock came again. Now that she was paying attention, she realized the sound was coming from the back of the house. Sliding door opened onto a wide patio and a little backyard. It was separated from the other houses in the complex by hedges and a low fence. Whoever was out there had needed to cut through other backyards to get to hers. 

She stopped. The blinds were drawn. She had no way of knowing who was on the other side. Two options: friend or foe. She didn’t live with it the way John lived with it. The waiting for the other shoe to drop. The fear. The never knowing what the day might bring. She was usually the trusting kind, except when John was involved. She learned to expect the worst. 

She chose her own instincts and pulled open the blinds. For the second time in two weeks, the man who should not be there stood on in front of her. John, looking a little worse for wear, held Aeryn in his arms. She was cradled against his chest. She was asleep or unconscious. 

Olivia let out an involuntary sheik. She fumbled with the locked door and threw it open.

“Hey,” said John. 

“God, I am so glad to see you. Bring her in. Don’t just stand there, you big idiot.” 

He moved passed her. “I’m glad to see I still get some respect around here.” 

“Put her on the couch. Is she okay?” 

“I don’t know, Livy. I think she’s just drugged.” 

John laid Aeryn down on the couch and brushed her hair back from her forehead. 

“We’re safe, babe,” he whispered. 

Olivia knew his world, for this very small moment, was just Aeryn. She looked worse than Olivia originally thought. The prison-like uniform she was wearing was rank and torn. Her lip was split. There was a stained bandage hastily covering a wound just below her collarbone. Her wrists were raw. She was entirely unconscious either. Her eyes were barely open and she was looking at things that weren’t there. She was silent, but she was ever so slightly moving against invisible restrains. He kept talking, his voice so soft, Olivia couldn’t hear. He kissed Aeryn’s forehead. 

After a minute, he stood up and wiped his eyes. Olivia took a step closer and let herself be circled by her brother’s arms. 

“I am so happy you’re safe. I was so worried,” she said into his neck. “I pretend you’re happy all the time. I hope if I wish hard enough, you’ll be okay.” 

“It didn’t work this time,” he said with a sighed and let go. His eyes travelled back to Aeryn. “She was talking before. I guess we have to wait out the drugs.” 

“I have a friend who’s a nurse. Should I call her?” 

“Nah. Maybe. I don’t know. Where are the kids?” 

“Out with Dad. They’re safe.” 

He sighed again and she felt his relief.

“Everything is okay now, right? You can stay for a little while, right?” she asked. 

“Yeah, I think so. I collapsed the wormhole on the way here.” 

“Good. Dad would kill you if I let you go without seeing him.” 

“He wouldn’t be the only one trying to kill me.” 

She slapped his arm. “Don’t joke.” 

He winced. “Easy.” 

“Sorry.”

He waved a hand to say don’t worry about it.

“Can I do anything? Do you need anything?” 

He rubbed his face with both hands. He dropped them back to his sides and seemed to sway. He looked so tired, so beyond exhausted. It made her two weeks of worry look like nothing. In reality, it hadn’t been. 

“John, sit down.”

He didn’t move. He did seem to see her anymore. His eyes were glassy. He was just done. She took his elbow and led him to an armchair, closest to Aeryn.

“Sit,” she repeated. 

His eyes closed. She kissed his forehead. “Rest.” 

He was asleep in a minute. She let him be. She slipped upstairs to call Jack. 

He answered the phone after the first ring. It took all her persuasion to get him to agree to stay calm and not bring the kids rushing over. He didn’t like not being in control. She didn’t like it either. She was a Crichton too after all. She did something she could control. She went back downstairs and finished the bills. 

There wasn’t a lot of food in the house, at least not enough for four adults and three kids. She left the landline and a Post-It note with her cell number on the coffee table in front of John. She was in and out of the store in record time. 

She carried two large grocery bags into the house. John stirred at the sounds. He got up and took a bag from her as if they were teenagers again and their mom had told him to help. 

It was incredible seeing him standing in her kitchen. It felt more like a dream than anything else. In another life, he lived closed by. Jay and his kids were as close as siblings. They all grew up together. Popped over to each other’s houses all the time. That’s what it felt like. He came back to return a hammer he borrowed.

“How are you doing?” she asked as she moved items into the fridge.

He bit into an apple and made a face like it was the greatest thing he had ever tasted. “Better. Napping, it does a body good. I could use a shower.” He pretended to sniff his armpit and made a different kind of face. 

She rolled her eyes. Same old Johnny. She showed him to the bathroom upstairs. By the time she came back with clean clothes and a towel, he’d pulled his shirt off and was examining himself in the mirror. He was bruised along his ribs. His knuckles were raw. He moved slowly, like he was hurt all over. 

He caught her staring. “Not so bad. Don’t worry about me.” 

“I always worry.” She handed him the towel. 

She started to go. 

“Can you watch over Aeryn?” he asked. “Don’t want her to wake up alone.” 

“Of course.” 

“The stuff they gave her is pretty strong. I think. I don’t know if she’ll be awake anytime soon.” He signed. “I’ll be quick.” 

She nodded and gave him privacy. 

Back downstairs, Aeryn still slept uneasily on the couch. It had been ten years in since Olivia had seen Aeryn last. John had changed a little in that time, but Aeryn had not changed at all. Apart from her injuries and her hair was maybe shorter. She had stopped struggling. Her chest rose and fell gently and in rhythm. But she was still very much unconscious. 

Olivia didn’t know what to do. She’d stalled for time and now there was too much of it. She shook her head. She just had to keep busy. There must be something she could do. The dirty bandage was not good for the wound on Aeryn neck. She could take care of that. 

She gathered the first aid kit from under the bathroom sink and returned to Aeryn’s side. She knelt in front of her. She called Aeryn’s name a few times. She wasn’t trying to wake her up, but she also didn’t want to startle her. Aeryn didn’t give any sign that she was aware. 

Olivia reached over and peeled back the bandage. The wound wasn’t as bad as Olivia was expecting. It wasn’t large, but it was deep. She guessed maybe an IV that had been roughly pulled out. 

She soaked a cotton swab in peroxide and held it to the cut. She waited. The sting of the antiseptic could wake the dead. Aeryn didn’t stir. With the wound cleaned, Olivia applied a clean bandage. She looked more closely at Aeryn’s wrists. They were definitely raw, but already healing. Those marks were older. Olivia’s heart broke a little more. This poor family just fought so hard. Nothing came easier and it so deserved to. 

She put the first aid things back into the box and started to take it back to the bathroom. 

“John?”

Olivia froze. The voice was quiet, rich, and deep. She turned back around. Aeryn’s eyes were still closed, but she was making purposeful movements. 

“John?” she said again, a little more panicked. 

Olivia moved. “It’s me. It’s Olivia, John’s sister. You’re on Earth. John is getting cleaned up.”

Aeryn opened her eyes and blinked a few times. She seemed to be trying to find Olivia even though she was crouching next to her. Olivia took her hand and Aeryn held on. That was enough. Her gaze focused. Every part of her snapped to attention.

“Where are my children?” Aeryn said. 

“They’re with Jack. They’re safe.” 

The relief washed over her the way it had John. “I don’t want them to see me like this.” 

“They won’t. They’re at the park. Do you want me to get John?” 

“No. Don’t let go.” 

“I’m not going anywhere,” Olivia promised. 

Maybe some things had changed. The Aeryn Olivia remembered never would have asked for help. Olivia was an anchor. She tethered Aeryn to the Earth’s surface and she felt it. The only sound was Aeryn’s breathing.

She opened her eyes again and almost smiled. “The drugs. They’re hard to fight.”

Olivia didn’t know what to say.

“Could you help me sit up?” asked Aeryn.

“Sure. Go slow.”

Olivia took her arm and pulled her up. Aeryn’s eyes rolled back. Olivia was afraid she was going to pass out. She sat down next to her and took her hand again.

“Aeryn?”

She focused again. “I’m here.”

“Is there anything I can get you?”

“Water?”

Olivia let go only long enough to rush to the kitchen and back. She had to help Aeryn lift the glass. Her hands shook.

“Anything else?” Olivia asked.

“You kept my children safe. There is nothing else.”

“I’d do it again and again. They’re family. You’re family.”

She squeezed Olivia’s hand. “Still, I can’t ever repay you. Thank you.”

“I am just happy you’re safe. I was so worried,” she said, repeating what she had told John.

Olivia realized they were being watched. John was standing behind them. He wore a t-shirt and a pair of Chris’ jeans. He seemed alive again.

“Hey, looks who’s up?” Olivia said with a broad smile. 

Aeryn glanced up too. Their eyes locked. He cleared the space in a few steps and sank down next to her. He pulled her close. Olivia quietly got up and moved towards the kitchen. She still watched though. The scene was so beautiful, so heartbreaking, she couldn’t look away. 

“You scared me,” he said. “A lot of déjà vu the last few days.” 

Olivia took that to mean something like this had happened before. Her heart broke even more. 

“I’m sorry,” Aeryn answered. 

“I’m the one who’s sorry. If I wasn’t…if it wasn’t for me—” he stopped himself. 

“I know. You ruined my life.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

“I love you.” 

“I love you too.” 

They kissed. Olivia did look away. This was too private to spy on. She hovered in the kitchen until her name was called. 

“Livy!” John yelled. “Could I get a hand?”

She peered back into the living room. John and Aeryn were sitting almost impossibly close. It was hard to tell where one stopped and other began. Olivia still felt like she was intruding.

“It’s my turn to get cleaned up. I want to see my children, but not like this,” Aeryn said.

“Of course. I’ll get you some clothes too. I don’t know if I’ll have much that fits you, but I’ll see what I can find.”

When she returned with the stack of clothes and towel, John was helping Aeryn to the bathroom. It was slow going, one step at a time with nearly all her weight on his grip. Aeryn could barely stand. When they reached the bathroom, she sat down on the edge of the tub. She stayed up right, which was a good sign.

“It’s just the drug,” Aeryn explained even though Olivia was pointedly trying not to watch. “A paralytic and restrain for your mind. You can’t move and you see things.” She didn’t say what she saw. “They mostly left me alone after the first day. It could have been worst.”

John kissed her on the cheek. It was an apology.

“I’m all right,” Aeryn said to him.

Olivia felt the urge to run. She put the clothes on the back to the toilet and left them alone. She retreated to Jay’s room. She sat on the edge of his bed and a sob escaped her lips. A wave followed.

It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair. She lived this charmed life. Dangers here didn’t seem so bad. She wasn’t scared all the time. She never worried the love of her life was going to be kidnapped and tortured. She never had to hide or move around to protect her family. It wasn’t fair that she had it so easy when John had it so hard.

Yes, there were things to worry about. Chris was deployed, but he was in the Navy. He mostly stayed on the ship. She knew first hand what it was like to not know where your partner was. There was a chance he wasn’t safe, but she’d talk to him yesterday. She would email him tonight. He wasn’t being tortured because of her. Her mind couldn’t even go to the place where her brother lived everyday. John deserved to be happy. He had saved the planet when he closed the wormhole last time. He’d isolated them from whatever terror was on the other side. He just deserved to be happy.

She wanted her son. She wanted Chris.

John called her name. She hurriedly wiped her eyes before answering. It didn’t matter. It was obvious she’d been crying. He took one look at her and knew.

“Oh Livy, what’s wrong?”

“I wish your life wasn’t like this. I wish I got to see you.”

“If wishes were fishes,” he said.

She wiped her eyes again. “What?”

He shrugged. “I wouldn’t change anything. Well, I’d like to visit more.”

“Good save.” She almost smiled. 

“It all leads here and wouldn’t change it. Aeryn’s strong. The kids are strong.”

“They are. They’re just wonderful. You should be proud. “

He puffed out his chest. “I am. It has little to do with me. They have good genes on their mom’s side.”

“There’s a lot of Crichton too.”

He beamed. “Speaking of Dee and Ester, would you mind calling Jack? We’re almost ready.”

Twenty minutes later, the three adults waited impatiently for the kids. Aeryn—now dressed in a white t-shirt and a pair of Olivia’s sweatpants cinched tightly at the waist—sat up on the couch with her leg stretched in front of her. Her hair was still damp and pulled over one shoulder. She was serene. Or controlled.

John paced back and forth in front of the door. The nerves rolled off him. He stopped suddenly and look directly at Olivia. “They aren’t mad at me, right? For leaving?”

Olivia leaned on the back of the armchair. “Of course not. They were a little scared. They just wanted you back.”

He nodded, but didn’t seem too sure. He started pacing again.

It was silent except for John’s footsteps. They heard the car pull up, doors opened, and closed. John breathed heavily. The front door opened.

Jack’s voice carried over the sounds of kid’s voices. “I forgot to mention, there’s a surprise.”

Ester saw John first. She looked confused. Then, she squealed. Olivia learned a new word in Sebacean because whatever the girl yelled it had to be daddy. She launched herself into John’s arms. He held on and spun her a couple of times. She buried her face in his neck, laughing and crying all at once. Dee, as usual, was not so emotional. He walked forward and just pressed himself into John. He wrapped his arms around his father’s waist. John released one arm from Ester and clutched at his son.

“I love you. I love you. I love you,” John said and then said it a few more times. “There’s someone else who’d like to see you, but you have to be gentle. Okay? Gentle.”

He turned with both kids still holding on, so they could see Aeryn. She covered her mouth with a hand and said something in Sebacean. Dee moved first. He went slowly, gently as John had instructed. They reached out for each other and collapsed into her arms. She kissed the top of his head. Her tears spilled over. Ester wriggled free from John and raced to her mother. Aeryn tried to lift her onto her lap, but she just didn’t have the strength. Dee grabbed his sister around the waist and pushed her up. Ester curled into Aeryn’s arms.

Olivia attention shifted to John and her father. They were just holding each other tightly. She could only see Jack’s face. Tears wet his cheeks too.

She reached for Jay. She bent down and whispered in her ear, “I love you. You know that, right?”

“I know. I love you too.”

“You know how lucky we are, right?”

“Yeah, I know.”

She kissed his cheek. She straightened. He leaned against her. John and her dad had let go. Jack had his hand on John’s shoulders. 

“You did good, son. You know that? You’ve done a wonderful job. You know that?” Jack was talking quietly and John kept nodding.

Olivia looked towards Aeryn again. Ester sat on her mother’s lap, pressed against her chest. Aeryn was playing with her hair. Dee was just behind Ester, his leg’s bridging Aeryn’s. Ester was talking more than Olivia had heard her before. It was Sebacean though.

There was peace in the house for the first time in weeks. No worry. No what ifs. Everyone was here and everyone was content. Olivia was suddenly exhausted. So much had happened.

The day wasn’t over. Aeryn had said once she’d like spaghetti even though she found it hard to eat. That’s what Olivia had bought at the store. She made a huge pot and threw in some frozen meatballs. Nothing fancy, but everyone got fed.

They stayed around the table for a long time. Aeryn was quiet, but John wanted to know what had been happening on Earth. He skirted around Olivia and Jack’s questions about his own life.

After a while, the talk turned to ships. John and Jack and even Dee started talking propulsion and wing pinch and whatever else. Jay sat on the edge of his chair listening to every word even though there was a good chance he didn’t understand half of it.

Olivia collected a few dishes and then settled down at the end of the table with Aeryn. She was talking to Esther, who was again curled in her arms again and half asleep. The words were Sebacean, but Olivia noticed a pattern. She just listened as Ester fell asleep. The rhyme ended and Aeryn looked up.

“It’s a poem,” she said. “I don’t think it will translate very well. John calls it Goodnight Moon. Does that mean anything to you?”

Olivia smiled now. “Yeah, we grew up with that story. I used to read it to Jay too.”

“John says sounds the same.”

“Amazing. We’re all so different and yet so alike. Was it a something you grew up with?” Olivia immediately regretted her question as she finished saying it. She had an only rough idea of how Aeryn had grown up and it did not include bedtime stories.

“No, there wasn’t a lot of poetry with the Peacekeepers.”

“That was a stupid question.”

“It’s fine. I wouldn’t have wanted it back then. I would’ve given you a Pantak Jab for even suggesting that I might like poetry.”

Olivia didn’t know what Pantak Jab was, but she didn’t think she wanted to be on the receiving end. “So, this isn’t how you imagined your life?”

“Not in the slightest.” Aeryn gave her a sleepy smile.

“You ready for bed?” asked Olivia.

“I was trying to hide it.”

“A mother can see overtired a mile away.”

“A mother knows.”

“You want some help?”

“Would you mind?” Aeryn said.

Olivia got up and lifted Ester from Aeryn’s lap. Ester was so soundly asleep she didn’t even open her eyes. Olivia held out her other arm to Aeryn. Aeryn grabbed a hold and let Olivia steady her. She had gained more of her strength back, but she still needed help.

John started to get up too.

“I’ve got it,” Olivia mouthed.

He raised an eyebrow to say, ‘You’re sure?’

She nodded. It was comforting that they could still do that. They used to talk without talking in front of Susan. It used to drive her crazy.

It was slow going, but Aeryn was already regaining her strength. Olivia led Aeryn towards the stairs. She was giving them her room. The sheets were already fresh from her cleaning spear earlier. She would let them stay together and she would take the mattress in Jay’s room.

Aeryn noticed, but Olivia cut her off. “Do not argue.”

“I don’t have the energy,” Aeryn answered.

Once upstairs, Olivia laid Ester on the bed. Aeryn sank down and scooped closer to her daughter to tuck her under the covers. She leaned down and kissed Ester on the cheek.

Olivia perched next to Aeryn. “I might not be what you pictured, but you’re good at it.”

“You sound surprised.” 

“That’s not what I meant,” Olivia blurred out even though that’s exactly what she had meant.

Aeryn leaned over towards Ester again and brushed back her hair. She was so gentle and it was something Olivia had never seen in Aeryn before. It was a softness that was entirely new. Even the way Aeryn talked was different this time. “Don’t worry. I’m not offended. I didn’t think I’d be any good at it. John wanted it so badly and I just went along. I trusted him. He figured he could take the lead and I’d just follow.”

“You guys are a good team.” 

“Do you know much about the war?”

“Just what little Dee as told me. Mostly that he was born in the middle of it.”

Aeryn rolled her eyes. “Sometimes, he is so clearly Crichton’s son with his bad timing. You have to laugh.” She paused and her expression a changed. A sadness crept in. “We almost lost him. I almost lost everything that day. It changes things. You see things differently. Dee was only a few arns old and I didn’t was already done following.”

“You’re doing a great job. You have two wonderful kids.”

“I do, don’t I?” Aeryn said with a mischievous smiled.

Olivia had tried last time. She had tried so hard to build something with Aeryn. She might look human, but she somehow seemed the most out of place on Earth. Maybe that was why. She looked like she should belong and she didn’t. Right now, Aeryn was talking like they had always been friends.

Aeryn’s smile slipped again. “I was so worried about them. I hoped John would just run. Take them and disappear.”

“John would never.”

“I know, but all I wanted was for them to be safe. But I knew he’d come. I just didn’t know where they could be safe. I’m glad he came here. On several levels. I’m glad Ester and Dee got to know their family. I wasn’t happy last time I was here. It was a hard time. And complicated. I found I missed it after we left though.”

“Why was it complicated? You were pregnant last time you were here, weren’t you?” Olivia asked and then clapped a hand of her mouth. “Sorry. That was an incredibly personal. You don’t have to answer that. I can’t believe I asked.”

“It’s all right. I was, but it’s different for Sebaceans. Those born in a battle group can hold an embryo for cycles—I mean years. It was complicated for a lot of other reasons. I thought he was running away. I’d done that already and came back. I didn’t understand why he couldn’t do the same thing. He was trying to protect me and I didn’t see it.”

Now, Olivia really felt like she was prying. She shouldn’t have said anything. Her curiosity got the better of her again. “I’m sorry. Jeez, I shouldn’t have asked.”

“You can stop apologizing. We should be able to talk about these things.” She paused and bit her lip, like she was deciding something. “We’re sisters now, correct? That’s how it works.”

Olivia wanted to throw her arms around Aeryn’s neck, but settled for a big smile. “Yeah, that’s how it works. We call it sisters-in-law. Sisters by marriage.”

“Sisters. I like that. I don’t have any family except you Crichtons.”

Olivia took Aeryn’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “I’m glad you’re part of the family.”

Aeryn’s eyes were getting heavy again. She needed to sleep.

Olivia got up. “You rest. We’ll be here in the morning.”

“Thank you, Olivia, for everything. ”

Olivia grabbed pajamas from a drawer and her toothbrush. Aeryn had settled down by the time Olivia had what she needed. She was just leaving when Dee scooted passed her in the doorway. He climbed across the mattress. He was already wearing the over-sized t-shirt he’d been sleeping in.

Aeryn sat up a little. They didn’t speak. He just ducked under the covers. She put her head back on the pillow.

Olivia left.

The rest of her family was still at the table. Jay was trying to look engaged, but when she ushered towards this room, he didn’t argue. She got him ready for bed and tucked him in. She stayed with him for an extra moment. She didn’t want to leave his side. She just wanted to be close to her son. She had been so focused on the fact that John had been in danger that she hadn’t had time to think about how he left his kids behind. He had walked away. They were back together, but that wound wasn’t healed yet. She was feeling it by proxy.

“I’m going to sleep in here tonight. I’ll sneak in later.”

“Mooom!”

“Your uncle and aunt and cousins are all sleeping in my room. I have no where else to go, so quit complaining.”

“Fine.”

“Thank you.”

“I love you, Mom,” he said.

“I love you too, kiddo.”

She kissed his cheek and then his other and then the first again, again and again until he giggled and pushed her away.

“Go. I’m tired,” he said.

Olivia laughed. “Good night. I will see you in the morning.”

She gave him one last kiss before turning out the lights.

The living room and kitchen were quiet now. John was in the kitchen, up to his elbows in dish soap.

“Where’s Jack?” she asked. It again felt like their teenage years. ‘Where’s Dad?’ was a common question.

“He went home. He’ll be back for breakfast. Said your house is a little full.”

“Well, I have four people in one bed, so I’d say the commander made a fair assessment.”

She grabbed a towel and started drying the dishes.

“Sorry to put you through all this,” he said. 

“Stop it. I love it. I’d sleep floor for you.”

“Aww, thanks, Livy.”

She bummed him with her shoulder. They focused on the dishes.

“Can we talk?” she asked after a long silence.

“About what?”

“I think you know what.”

“Don’t worry. It was an old enemy scrabbling for a little power. She’s just bitter.”

“You can’t just brush this off. I’m scared for you.” 

“And you think I’m not? It’s my life. My family. I’ve been living with this a lot longer than you have. I have enemies. An entire galaxy knows my name...and knows what I’ve done.” 

“Stay here. You’re safe here.” 

“But you are not.”

“Can’t believe—”

“We aren’t staying.” He rubbed his face with both hands so his words were muffled. 

“Please, John.” 

“What do you want me to say, Olivia?” he said, mimicking the way she’d said his name. They both stood with their feet planned. The argument was building in hushed tones. 

“I don’t know. Something! Anything beside ‘I’m running away.’”

“Don’t.” 

“Don’t what?” she snapped back. 

“I’m not running away. I’m running to something. I’m sorry I have to leave you behind, but it’s the way it has to be. You belong here; I belong out there.” He pointed out the little window above the sink. “Don’t make this my fault. This is for you. It’s for Jack and Susan and her family and you and your son.”

The kitchen went quiet. Olivia was at a loss. Had she always known? Had she been naive? John wasn’t staying because he didn’t want to stay. He could make all the claims he wanted. He was keeping them safe. It was dangerous will he around. Maybe he believed it himself. 

“We’ll stay as long as we can,” said John. The fight had left him. 

“Forever wouldn’t be enough,” she said and knew it was corny. She waved him away. “You go get some sleep.” 

He nodded. “Night.” 

“Sleep well.” 

Olivia finished up in the kitchen. As she moved towards Jay’s room, she spotted John at the top of the stairs. He was leaning against the doorframe. She cleared her throat softly. He looked up and waved her closer. She crept closer.

The light from the hallway slipped across the foot of the bed. Ester was curled against Aeryn. Dee lay next to his mother, sharing the pillow. She had one arm around Ester and one stretched out towards Dee. 

The truth was Earth wasn’t John’s home anymore. She couldn’t fight against it. There was nothing left to argue about. The decision had been made even before he appeared on her doorstep. She would have to take the time she was given. 

Olivia threw her arms around her brother’s neck. He had to take a few steps backwards to keep from falling over. He hugged her back. 

“I love you,” she said. 

“I love you too,” he answered. She released her grip.

There was nothing else to say. He was here only to rest now. She let him go.


End file.
